Charles Barkley said it best..."I am not a role model." Why we as Americans feel the need to idolize our favorite sports stars is beyond me. These guys are human, just because they can hit a 90 mph fastball or dunk a basketball does not make them a better human being than a manager at Dairy Queen.
For example, why would anyone want their kid to model their life after Barry Bonds? Sure, he was one hell of a baseball player. But in real life he's far from perfect. He cheated on his wife, cheated on his taxes, cheated by taking illegal performance enhancing drugs, and he lied about it all. He's a terrible teammate, and a prick to anyone who meets him. Honestly, why would anyone look up to him?
I don't mean to pick on Barry, I'm just using him as an example that everyone knows. The sporting world is filled with dirtbags, and some of America's greatest sports heroes are the biggest offenders. Everyone loves Brett Favre, but it's kinda funny how we all forget that he was addicted to painkillers a few years back, and through his selfish feeling of entitlement, he effectively made the entire Packers organization look like idiots when he cried his way back from retirement last year. Mickey Mantle was one of the best baseball players in history, but off the field he was a raging alcoholic, married to a woman he never loved and cheated on frequently. People even felt that because of his fame he received his liver transplant faster than a normal person would.
After his Super Bowl MVP performance, Santonio Holmes is a hero to Steeler fans everywhere. Here's a kid who grew up selling drugs, has numerous kids out of wedlock, allegedly beat one of his girlfriend, and was recently busted and suspended for possession of weed. But because he caught a football in the biggest game, on the biggest stage, we all tend to forget this, and now his story is inspirational. Michael Phelps seems to be going through the exact opposite...America's Sweetheart one night, America's goat the next. What did he do? He acted like 90% of 23-year olds in this country. I find it hard to believe that most of the people up in arms over his transgressions didn't do the same thing when they were his age. Why are they so upset? Because Americans need their sports stars to be role models for their kids.
Why do Americans need their sports stars to be role models? Our society is driven by two things...greed and fame. Everyone wants to be rich and famous. People look at sports figures as gods, with their perfectly sculpted bodies and bottomless bank accounts. In reality, like I said above, most sports figures, as people, are not someone you want your kid to grow up to be like. It's not entirely their fault, it's probably hard to control yourself when your whole life people have bent over backwards to tell you how great you are, and tell you that you can do whatever you want. So when these people screw up, as all humans do, because they're under this microscope everything gets blown way out of proportion. Society needs to realize that these men and women are playing a game, a game that really has no bearing on the survival of civilization. It's purely for entertainment and that's it. These people are not doctors saving lives. These people are not farmers growing food. Stop making them out to be more than what they are. Stop blaming television, video games, music, sports, etc. for corrupting your children. It's the American Way, take the quick and easy way out, blame everyone else, take the focus off yourself. Stand up, take accountability for yourself and those around you, and stop worrying what sports stars are doing off the field. Our kids don't need role models, they need guidance and reassurance that they can be whatever they want to be. We are all individuals, there's no need to try to be like someone else.
Alex Rodriguez taking steroids is not the reason your son playing high school baseball took steroids. It's because you failed as a parent to teach him right from wrong.
Yoi!
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
Red Sox pasties makes hatefucking that much easier.
A sweet Dave Matthews Band soccer jersey. 
