At Least He Shouldn't Need to Collect Unemployment

Welcome to the wonderful world of unemployment, Mr. Gary Sheffield. Sheff was cut loose by the Detroit Tigers today, just one home run shy of the 500 mark for his career. Sheffield has been an offensive force in Major League Baseball since the early 90's, when I used to bat him leadoff for the Milwaukee Brewers in RBI Baseball 3.

Not quite on par with the original, but a classic nonetheless.

Sheffield is old and brittle, and is not much more than a role player or occasional DH, which he didn't really want to acknowledge. I'd be surprised if someone takes the chance on him, but it would be nice for someone to throw him a bone and get him that last dinger. No comments have been released yet by the Biggamekilla camp, who selected Sheffield to represent his Innocent Until Narc'd fantasy baseball team for the upcoming season.

It's 12 o'clock....Time for Some News!

Lunchtime thoughts...

-Happy trails to the Pitt basketball team. Pitt was eliminated by conference rival Villanova on Saturday night, thanks to a last-second layup by Scottie Reynolds. Best of luck to outgoing seniors Levance Fields, Sam Young, and Tyrell Biggs, and you may as well say goodbye to Dejuan Blair, it's looking like the NBA is in his very near future. Dry your tears Pitt fans, at least Penn State's hoopsters are still in the hunt for a championship (ouch). And this will be the very last time I write anything about basketball. It sucks. If anyone calls Sidney Crosby a whiner, please take the time to watch a college basketball game. Basketball coaches whine and bitch more than any person I know. Every good call, bad call, non-call...the coach has something to say. It's embarrassing. Fuck basketball, especially the NBA. Play some defense for Christ's sake.

-Marvel Smith signed a multi-year contract with the 49ers over the weekend. Yawn. Is he still playing? Now you realize why teams like the 49ers are bottom feeders, they sign injured scrubs to big contracts who can barely walk, let alone play a 16-game NFL season. Best of luck to you Marvel, you played some good football for the Steelers before you died three years ago.

-Andrew McCutcheon was reassigned to the minors. Smart move by the Pirates (did I just say that?) This team probably isn't going anywhere anytime soon, so why start McCutcheon's free agency clock to play in a meaningless environment? Get him some quality at-bats against inferior pitching and build his confidence. He did bat over .300 this spring, but was still striking out too much for my liking. We'll see him in the 'Burgh sooner rather than later. And another familiar prospect...er I mean talentless scrub has been sent down as well, Mr. Brian Bixler. Good riddance. This guy was supposed to be Jack Wilson's heir at shortstop, but because of his inability to hit major league pitching he'll be languishing in the minors again. If Jack Wilson really is genuine about his wanting to stay in Pittsburgh, he has to send Bixler a thank you card for his repeated failures. If Bixler had shown any promise during his major league stints, Jumpin' Jack would be playing in greener pastures right now.

-Missed the Pens' game on Saturday, the first game all season I haven't watched or attended. Usually I try to DVR the games I'm going to miss and watch them at a later time, but this time I shit the bed. It's a shame, because from some of the text messages I received Saturday I missed a good one. Six games left for the Pens, and things are still looking up.

Rant From The Recliner

From the recliner to you - baseball news...

JUMPIN' JACK FLASH WILSON, the shortstop of OUR Pittsburgh Pirates is reportedly in talks with the Bucco brass about a contract extension.Dejean Kovacevic of the Pittsburgh Post Gazette says the Pirates and Jack Wilson are beginning to discuss a contract extension. Wilson apparently initiated talks this week, indicating a desire to stay with the club beyond next year when his contract could expire.

Wilson is set to make $7.25MM in 2009,

with a club option for $8.4MM or a $500K buyout.

What does everyone think about this? Personally, I like it. Jack has always said that his goal was to turn this 'Pirate ship' around, and we've seen how scary things can be when we put our faith in Bixler - so okay Jack, you're on board from here on out (under one circumstance, you'll have to take a 6.5 million dollar pay cut)

It's late, but how about a little 'FUCK BOSTON FRIDAY'?

Red Sox manager Terry Francona confirmed to reporters this morning that outfielder Brad Wilkerson has left the Red Sox. He doesn’t figure to be in the major league team’s plans heading into the regular season.
Wilkerson, who had signed a minor-league deal, had an opt-out option in his deal that permitted him to leave the team up until April 1. Wilkerson was hitting just .119 in 42 at-bats, striking out 18 times.

Brad was questioned as he was leaving the Red Sox spring training facilities and he said, "I blame everything on Boston. Before I came here, I was a proud journey man who was looking for a chance. Now, since I have spent around these scumbags, I am a terrible person and need to step away from baseball to get my life back where it needs to be." OK, so that part is completely bullshit, made up by me, but I would be willing to bet that I'm pretty damn close.
You're better off Brad - FUCK BOSTON!

Where in the World is Ronnie Paulino?

Former bucco backstop Ronnie Paulino, who was in a battle for a job with the Filthadelphia Phillies was traded to the Giants for lefty reliever Jack Taschner.

The Giants quickly turned Paulino around in a trade to the Florida Marlins for right-handed pitcher Hector Correa. Ronnie... Nobody loves you, nobody cares. I can't fucking believe you got your very own bobblehead in Pittsburgh. I'll throw that one in the bin with Pokey Reese.

Rant From The Recliner : Hump Night

How about this recliner? So elegant, so impressive.

FANS: We here at Big or Little Ben need your help! Well, I am really the only one needing help - but that should make you even more eager to offer your services. The 'Rant From The Recliner' segment of this blog is now the most read column on the entire internet. I'm serious. What does this mean you ask? It looks like I need to schedule some more recliner time, but also I need help collecting pictures of recliners from all over the world. It might be your favorite recliner that you spend most of your time in. Maybe it's the one you had in college that smells like bong water and Natural Light. It does not matter, BOlB does not care where your recliner came from, or what fabric it is made of - ALL recliner pictures welcome!

Recliners are so important that this guy rocked one at his OWN VIEWING!

Rest in Peace you great Steeler fan. WE will get more rings than you have dead fingers and toes.

It is important that I keep you, the readers, happy. What is better than reading the best blog in the world? Helping with the best blog in the world.

Send your pics to zstynchula@yahoo.com

I am looking forward to seeing the naked pictures of your girl, I mean recliner pictures.

Boo Hoo

nice fuckin shirt

Question... over 20 years a guy averages 10.8 wins a year and 7.3 losses does this sound like Hall of Fame material? I have been abstaining from ESPN television until college basketball is over, so i use the Internet for my sports info lately. Just found out that Curt Schilling has retired via his blog. Outstanding Curt, I figured a guy like you would need a teary eyed press conference, a parade, or someone to carry you around like a king on his throne but you proved me wrong. I always thought of you as a cross between arrogant redneck and straight douche bag. I have heard all the radio stations asking if you should be a Hall of Famer and my answer is absolutely not. I find it oddly curious that your best years were after age 30. Ten times you have posted double digit wins with 8 of them after age 30. In the era of steroids you managed to stay clean? I know you have flatly denied using roids but so did Palmeiro. Some of your favorite teammates which you admit to being friends with on your blog 38 Pitches were steroid users Jeff Bagwell, Ken Caminiti, and Brady Anderson to name a few. (not accusing you just questioning) Why do you belong in the Hall Curt because of your absurd affection with ketchup? (everyone knows that's what was on the sock) looks painful

Most of your teammates admit that they didn't like you over the course of your career. The media certainly has lost no love for you with your surly attitude towards them. Randy Johnson, seen below with you trying to tongue him,wont even acknowledge you existence. If you didn't play with some of the best players in the biggest markets you wouldn't have all those rings fat boy. So long Curt you wont be missed.

Tuukka Rask=The Man.

I'm a big fan of NHL '09 for the XBOX 360 entertainment system. I enjoy playing online as part of the Ebortal Death club team alongside PW Hallstrom, even though we go down in flames more often than not. I also enjoy playing the part of GM and creating a dynasty from scratch, usually taking a random team, trading away all the veterans/stars and building with youth. One of the goalies I usually go after when rebuilding is 22-year old Tuukka Rask, who is currently a member of the Boston Bruins organization.

What a name. What a uniform.

I was pleasantly surprised to see Rask get a news piece on the front page of ESPN.com today. When I clicked on the story, I became even more excited. This is what got him in the news...

Pure unadulterated awesomeness. How long did it take that dude in the front row to clean the shit out of his undies when he got home? How can anyone not love the game of hockey?

No Way Jose

The Pittsburgh Pirates need as much positive publicity as they can get. This is not positive publicity...

Missing 2-month-old Plant City girl found safe

HILLSBOROUGH COUNTY (Bay News 9) -- A missing 2-month-old girl has been found safe. An Amber Alert was issued for Sandra Cruz-Francisco Monday after she was last seen at the Plant City Health Center on Michigan Avenue in Plant City. She was there with her mother getting a check-up. Police believe the suspect, calling herself Janet, may have posed as an immigration official, convincing the baby's mother to turn over the child as a way to avoid deportation. "Basically, what we were told was there was a conversation," said Plant City Police Capt. Darrell Wilson. "I know there's been some stories out there about immigration but we haven't confirmed what exactly was said. There was some story about immigration and some type of official."This afternoon investigators received an anonymous call saying the woman and baby were on a street corner in Bradenton. When deputies arrived they found 43-year-old Amaila Tabata Pereira waiting for them with the child. They say it's possible she's the one who made the call.

So you read the above article and said to yourself, "What does this have to do with the Pittsburgh Pirates?" Take a look at the name of the accused woman. TABATA. It turns out she is the wife of the Pirates' heralded prospect Jose Tabata. This has to raise some red flags. Jose Tabata is barely twenty years old, and is married to a 43-year old baby snatcher. He's had questions raised about his maturity and has had numerous transgressions in his past. Granted, he's only 20 years old, and we've all made some questionable decisions in our own lives at that age. But this has to be raising some eyebrows in the Buccos' organization. Tabata is being counted on as a large building block for the Pirates' future, but right now this guy has Jose Guillen Jr. written all over him.