Summer Vacation...

Obviously we've been a little lackadaisical around here lately. That's because it's summer, and there's plenty of exciting things to do, other than post on a blog. I know there's plenty of things to talk about, such as Pirates baseball and the arrival of the Steelers in town later this week, not to mention a huge bombshell of a story about a certain Pittsburgh sports figure with a blog named after him who's made some scandalous headlines over the past week. But like I said, it's summer, and we're all way too preoccupied. I'm busy finishing up my baseball coaching duties, 6th Ward is pouting because he can't drink for another two months, BGK is too wrapped up in micromanaging his fantasy baseball team, ACornedUp is working hard at being unemployed and PWHallstrom is drinking and crying alone on his back porch every night. But don't worry, with the weather soon to turn and nothing better to do, we'll return triumphantly and better than ever. So stay tuned and be patient, and thanks again.

Cry Me A River(s), Bitch.

If this blog was in existence last fall, I guarantee I would have written at least 25 posts dedicated to the waste of space that is San Diego Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers. I absolutely LOATHE that guy. He's an overrated no-talent self-righteous fuckface who thinks his shit doesn't stink. When checking my Yahoo! email account at lunch today, it brought me great joy that the main news piece was a video showing Rivers getting schooled by a high school quarterback at one of his camps. Nothing brings a bigger smile to my face than to see the talking heads on the local news show having a laugh at Rivers' expense. If Rivers had any swag at all, he would have pulled a LeBron and had the tape destroyed, but since we all know that he's worthless, the video has thankfully seen the light of day.

Dumbest Show Ever

Its been quite some time since I have blogged and kudos to Tom for continuing the fight. Just got done watching a segment on ESPN and they ended it with Colin Cowherd and a super hot Michelle Beadle, which is about all she has going for her. These two have the single most dumb ass show I have ever seen in my entire life, its called SportsNation. If you haven't seen it don't waste the time to check it out because you will want to kill yourself by the time its over. Anyway on Sportscenter the question was asked do you think you could hit a home run in the MLB Hr derby with an aluminum bat? These two ass clowns acted like it was the most preposterous question ever asked. Colin said he thought everyone who answered yes to this question are the same people who were a tweaked hammy, bum shoulder, or a coach didn't like me away from making it big. Listen I am by no stretch of the means even close to being a professional athlete however, to hit a baseball 315-330 feet is not a Herculean task. I have seen 13-15 year olds do it and I myself have done it in my younger days. He suggested that the only ones who could possibly do this would be college baseball players from the SEC or along those lines of athlete. I'd be willing to bet that I know 5 people who could right now hit a baseball out of PNC park with an aluminum bat that never played in Division I baseball or minor leagues. This is what pisses me off about sports radio personality's, most of these guys think that they know everything there is to know about everything. If you ever listened to THE HERD on ESPN 1250 you would understand what I mean. Colin Cowherd is the most condescending arrogant prick you could ever listen to. After about ten minutes you want to put your fist though the radio. This guy is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me and it completely blows my mind that ESPN would give this schmuck another show when the one he is on already blows. Fifty one percent of the viewers of this dumb ass show said yes they could do it, and I'd be willing to bet that 25% of that 51% could hit a ball out of a major league stadium with an aluminum bat. One more thing before I go, I am going to set the over/under on how long SportsNation lasts at 6 weeks. Any takers? Comment please.....I want to here from the people.

RIP Air McNair

Another famous figure died way too soon this weekend, as former All-Pro NFL quarterback Steve McNair was found dead this weekend, a victim of what looks to be a murder-suicide. McNair was found in his Nashville condo, shot four times and laying next to his alleged girlfriend, who was also found dead with a single gunshot would to her head.

It's another tragic story in the world of sports. Many have spoken out over the past few days about McNair's immense contributions, not just on the football field but in society as well. McNair funded many youth football camps and was extremely active in the community. Many young football players such as Vince Young looked to him as a father figure, and McNair happily obliged to help them in any way he could. Yet with all his accomplishments, McNair is coming under fire for his extramarital affair which unfortunately looks to have caused his untimely demise. While I don't agree with McNair's choice to (allegedly) cheat on his wife, that still does not take away from the fact that his four young boys are now without a father. It goes back to my earlier post on why we, as a society, should not use athletes as role models. These people are human, just like any of us, and make mistakes, just like any of us. The same people who judge him as an adulterer probably have done the same things in their own lives, or even worse. Athletes are under intense media scrutiny, and most of them are surrounded by large amounts of money and outside pressure, a situation many of them never experienced growing up. Sometimes being exposed to this can cause a person to do things that a normal, moral person would never think to do. So before anyone can judge McNair or any other public figure for their discretions, think about what you might do if you were in their position. Once again, I do not condone what McNair has done, and I was never a McNair fan when he played (playing for two of the Steelers' main rivals didn't help his cause) but I do think that Steve McNair and his family deserve better than to be raked over the coals in their time of grief.

Burning a Hole in My Pocket...

A look into what the Pittsburgh Penguins organization accomplished through the first weekend of NHL free agency...

Losses: D Rob Scuderi, D Hal Gill, F Jeff Taffe, F Chris Minard, G Mathieu Garon

Additions: D Chris Lee, D Nate Guenin, F Chris Connor, F Mike Rupp

The Pens went into free agency knowing that they had little money to spend, and a number of key components to resign. They succeeded in keeping Bill Guerin, Ruslan Fedotenko and Craig Adams, signing the trio to less-than-market value. Unfortunately they couldn't compete with the outside offers extended to Gill and Scuderi, losing them to Montreal and Los Angeles, respectively. While losing two of their top-six defensemen is a substantial hit to the structure of the team, GM Ray Shero still has plenty of options. Alex Goligoski is ready to contribute this season, proving himself in his extended stint in the 'Burgh earlier this season. Shero also has around $3 million left under the cap to throw at a veteran stay-at-home D-man. Losing Garon is no big deal, he barely sniffed the ice and John Curry is more than ready to hold down the relief goaltender role behind MAF. Connor, Guenin and Lee are journeyman AHLers, signed to add depth especially after the losses of minor-league all stars Taffe and Minard.

There's no hiding the fact that the start of the free agency signing period is an exciting time. Every fan likes to see his team being proactive in the market, but a flurry of activity is not always a good sign. Teams like Montreal, New York and Calgary continue to offer headline-worthy deals (as they do every year) but that doesn't always constitute success on the ice. Year after year the same teams "win" in free agency but lose when it counts the most. It's good to build a solid team through the draft and smart signings, play the first half of the season, then fix your holes through trades at the deadline. Teams like Detroit and Pittsburgh seem to adhere to this model, and their recent success proves this. These teams rarely make a big-name addition through free agency and instead sign depth players to build a solid nucleus, then adding that big-ticket name at a substantially lower cap hit at the deadline. In the past two years, the Pens have signed depth guys like Satan, Sykora, Fedotenko, and Cooke, and traded for big-ticket stars like Hossa, Guerin and Kunitz. Detroit, while the Hossa signing was big (but for only a one year, salary cap-friendly offer) they've only signed guys like Ville Leino from Finland and instead used the trade market for quality guys like Brad Stuart.

You would think teams like the Rangers would look at this model and try to emulate it in some way. Instead, they resort to their old freewheeling spending ways, make a "splash" in free agency and thus continue to spin their wheels in terms of success on the ice. I know it's exciting to sign guys like Drury, Gomez and Gaborik, but when guys like these are making comparably the same amount of money per year as Crosby and Malkin, it's doesn't add up.

Being Ian

You think Jack Wilson has it hard seeing all his buddies being traded away? Well, he isn't the only Pirates player who's been on an emotional roller coaster this season. Just ask Ian Snell...

Every Pirate fan knows his story. Million dollar arm, ten cent head. He has the tools needed to be a productive Major League pitcher and has shown flashes of it in the past. What he lacks is the mental capacity to handle the ups-and-downs Major Leaguers encounter on a daily basis. He volunteered to demote himself to AAA Indianapolis a week ago, hoping a change of scenery would let him clear his head and start over. He did just that in his first start, fanning 17 Toledo Mud Hens in a 2-1 victory.

When interviewed by the local media, Snell opened up and painted a picture of his recent struggles. Nobody expected this bombshell...

"Sometimes people do stupid stuff and I had to fight it, not to do something stupid and take my life for myself and from my family and my parents..."

That doesn't sound good. That sounds like someone struggling with a severe bout of depression. Many people, including the author of the story, took this as being a thinly-veiled admission of suicidal thoughts. The P-G's Dejan Kovacevic does his best to put out the fire...

"As someone who knows Snell a lot better than any Indianapolis TV person, I can tell you he talks in dramatic terms quite a bit, including saying things like that. Not that anyone should ever lightly dismiss such a topic, but this looks out of context to me. I have spoken with Snell a couple times this week. He sounds fine."

Ian Snell is a very emotional guy. He's definitely upset with himself and as he's shown in the past, he lets his emotions get to him. For his sake, I hope he learns how to cope with these emotions, as that seems to be the #1 hindrance to a productive Major League career. As for the "suicide admission" it's nothing more than a candid guy making a comment for effect, or at least for his sake I hope that's what it is.

The American Dream

In honor of the upcoming birthday of our fine nation, let's take a look at the possible roster for the 2010 Winter Olympic USA Hockey team...

Among those invited to the US Hockey training camp:

Forwards: David Backes, David Booth, Dustin Brown, Dustin Byfuglien, Ryan Callahan, Chris Drury, Scott Gomez, Patrick Kane, Ryan Kesler, Phil Kessel, Jamie Langenbrunner, Ryan Malone, Mike Modano, Kyle Okposo, T.J. Oshie, Zach Parise, Joe Pavelski, Bobby Ryan, Paul Stastny

It's out with the old, in with the new for the U.S. squad. Old staples such as Keith Tkachuk, Doug Weight, Jason Blake, Brian Gionta and Brian Rolston have been shown the door, opening up opportunities for young up-and-comers like Okposo, Pavelski, Ryan and Byfuglien. Leadership won't be a problem with guys like Modano, Langenbrunner and Drury around, they've been through the grind and while they won't bring the production of guys like Kessel, Kane and Parise, they'll be counted on to guide the youngsters. Also nice to see local product Ryan Malone getting a shot to represent his country. Notable ommissions: Jason Pominville, Drew Stafford, Blake Wheeler, David Legwand, Patrick O'Sullivan, R.J. Umberger, Peter Mueller, Lee Stempniak, Erik Cole, Matt Cullen, Tim Connolly

Defensemen: Tom Gilbert, Tim Gleason, Ron Hainsey, Erik Johnson, Jack Johnson, Mike Komisarek, Paul Martin, Brooks Orpik, Brian Rafalski, Rob Scuderi, Ryan Suter, Ryan Whitney

The U.S. has a glut of young, physical d-men. Guys like the Johnson's, Orpik and Komisarek aren't afraid to throw their body around. Rafalski, Whitney and Hainsey are solid puck-movers who will run the power play. Suter brings the pedigree (his dad Bob was on the 1980 Miracle on Ice team, and his uncle Gary was a long-time NHL standout.) Notable ommissions: Keith Ballard, John-Michael Liles, Joe Corvo, Matt Niskanen, Matt Carle

Goaltenders: Tim Thomas, Ryan Miller, Jonathan Quick

Hard to argue with these choices. Thomas was one of the best, if not the best, goaltender in the NHL this past season. Miller is another standout with international experience. Quick is young and will benefit from the higher level of competition. Rick DiPietro, a past staple on the U.S. squad, is still recovering from his latest injuries and will not take part. Notable ommission: Ty Conklin

It's refreshing to see the U.S. "retire" some of the graybeards and usher in the fresher American-born talent. It's gonna make for a flashier version of U.S. Hockey, and give Americans a more exciting team to root for in Turin.

The Most Hated Man in Hockey...

Nobody pisses off more people that this guy.

Word on the street is that Marian Hossa will sign a contract with the Chicago Blackhawks today, a deal supposedly worth $62 million over 12 years (not coincidentally, the Hawks also signed former Wing Tomas Kopecky, Hossa's butt buddy from Slovakia and the main guy behind bringing Hossa to Detroit.) I guess he didn't enjoy playing with the Red Wings enough to take their last offer of $4 million a year for ten years, which is a far cry from the $7 million plus a year he was offered last year by the Oilers and Penguins.

If I could have a "Being John Malkovich" moment here and crawl inside Hossa's brain, I would probably see a guy taking a long term contract with an up-and-coming young team. Sound familiar? It's the same type of offer Hossa balked at last summer with the Pens, instead bolting for the one year deal given to him by the Red Wings. Did he learn his lesson? Definitely, and the hard way at that. If Hossa had just taken the Pens' deal last year, he would have made more money, had a legitimate chance to lift the Cup for years to come, and spare himself the humiliation of this past playoff choke job.

It seems that Hossa has a penchant for pissing off people. In Ottawa, he earned the nickname "Maid Marian" for his repeated playoff failures. In Atlanta, he could only lead the Thrashers to one playoff appearance, a four game first round exit. In Pittsburgh, his arrival brought the departure of fan favorite Colby Armstrong, and then he stuck a knife in the back of the Pittsburgh hockey community by burning the Pens and signing with the team that just defeated them a month earlier. In Detroit, he virtually disappeared in the playoffs after a 40+ goal regular season, and earned the ire of Wings fans for his no-show performance against his former team in the Finals. Now, he signs a contract with the Wings' main rival, guaranteeing at least six games a year for the next 12 years against Detroit and their unforgiving fanbase.

So what's next? It's clear that Hossa is a world-class talent, and added to a team already loaded with young stars can only make the Blackhawks better. But in the salary-cap era, Hossa's deal takes a large chunk of money that will need to go to Chicago's other soon-to-be free agent stars such as Patrick Kane, Jonathan Toews, Duncan Keith, etc. I can all but guarantee that Chicago fans will turn on Hossa soon enough, especially if the Hawks can't resign a key young star because of his contract.

Let's Make A Deal...

Did someone play a practical joke on Buccos' GM Neal Huntington and set his personal calendar a month ahead? Did someone tell him MLB moved the trade deadline back a month? Huntington treated the last day of June as if it was the last day of July, making two trades and once again altering the Bucs' major league roster in order to acquire more depth in the minors. His first deal of the day...

Pirates trade UTIL Eric Hinske to the Yankees for RHP Casey Erickson and OF/C Eric Fryer

What is there to say about this trade? It's really just a minor deal for both squads, the Pirates unload a bench player, freeing up more AB's for young guys like Delwyn Young and Brandon Moss, and pick up two "bodies" for their system. Neither Erickson or Fryer are top prospects, just a few more guys to add to the rebuilding process. And Hinske gets a chance to not only play for every team in the AL East (four down, Baltimore to go) but if the Evil Empire somehow returns to the World Series this year, he will have the distinction of playing in the Fall Classic three years in a row for three different teams. Good luck with that one.

Pirates trade OF Nyjer Morgan and LHP Sean Burnett for OF Lastings Milledge and RHP Joel Hanrahan

The Pirates have traded four, count 'em, FOUR starting outfielders in less than a year. Now that's impressive. But once again, I agree with what Neal is trying to do. He traded a 28 (29 tomorrow) year old outfielder who is barely three months into his first season as a starter. While Nyjer has been productive as a speed/defensive minded guy, the Bucs already have a guy like that (McCutchen) who's seven years younger and hasn't even scratched the surface of his potential. Now you can't replace Nyjer's fun-loving clubhouse presence, he was a team and fan favorite, but when you're on pace for a seventeenth-straight losing season, you need to add talent, even if it's at the cost of character. Speaking of character, Lastings Milledge has had questions about his over the past few years. What you can't question is his talent and potential. Milledge is a five-tool player, some have compared his skill set to that of Buccos prospect Jose Tabata, and if Milledge can stay on the straight and narrow, the sky's the limit for him. Joel Hanrahan is another interesting piece added in this deal, he's got a live arm, and pitched in the WBC this past spring (which probably explains his 7+ ERA so far this season, just ask Chien Ming Wang, Dice-K, Ian Snell, etc.) The Bucs also parted ways with Burnett, one of the only recent first round picks to actually contribute in the majors. I'm a fan of Burnett's, but you gotta give up quality to receive it in return.

Once again, I'm on board with what the Buccos brass are trying to do. It's a commitment to rebuilding that Pirate fans can actually believe. And it's only the beginning. While it might be hard to say goodbye to guys like Morgan, McLouth, and soon possibly Wilson and Sanchez, it's the right thing to do. If the Pirates are committed to youth, then the old guard has to go. It's time to turn the page and see what these kids can do.

Welcome Back...

Wow...it's been a week since the last update...the longest dry spell of this blog's short life...it's summer, I'm busy coaching baseball and planning a wedding, 6th Ward is busy trying to convince us he's straight, and BGK is struggling with pulling the trigger on numerous fantasy baseball trades (I don't blame him, he's beating the pants off everyone, why mess with success?) A few quick hits...

-The Pens won the Stanley Cup.

-The Steelers will be in Latrobe in just over a month.

-The Pirates just got swept by the guy they swept out of town two years ago, and are at a season-worst eight games under the elusive .500 mark.

Good enough for now. It's a slow time for sports, unless you enjoy Pirates' trade rumors (which I do) or following the NBA Draft (which I don't.) The creative juices are flowing...

All You Need to Know...

No words are necessary...

Thank you Pittsburgh Penguins.
2009 Stanley Cup Champions.

The Final Chapter...

Seventeen years and eleven days is a long time to wait. Bring it home boys.

LET'S GO PENS

Guilty By Association??

After several hours of thinking today I finally have had enough of this story. Raul Ibanez felt the need to come out and blast a blogger for "suggesting" he used PED's. Now listen Ibanez has averaged 22 home runs the last several seasons and is off to a career start at age 37 with 20 home runs before the All-Star break. Ibanez went on to say that if he tested positive for performance enhancers that he would give back every dime he ever earned. He wasn't done there folks, he continued his rant by saying that he would go after anyone who questioned his word or defamed/slander him and that these people should be held accountable...really Raul?? . How about myself as a baseball fan being cheated out of my hard earned money? How you ask? By going out and paying inflated ticket prices to make you a millionaire and watch grown men who think they need steroids to hit a baseball, run faster, or throw harder. Where is my refund for being lied to about what I was watching? If you are such a stand up guy, why didn't you rat out someone you thought was using? No one should go unquestioned in this day and age, look at Manny Ramirez this was "the purest right handed hitter to ever play the game" until he tested positive for a banned substance to cover up steroid use. I am taking you at your word Raul, I'm taking your word that you can rest your head at night knowing that you played the game the right way, but you cant be angry with us when so many of your peers caused this age of leeriness.

Chuck Morton...Come on Down!

At the beginning of the season, it was a given that Charlie Morton would start a game at Turner Field at some point this year...but in a simple twist of fate, in his first major league appearance this season he'll be pitching against the team that groomed him. Morton will make his debut in a Pirates' uniform today, facing off against Jair Jurrjens and the Braves. It's the first opportunity (other than the Andrew McCutchen show) for Bucco fans to witness what the Pirates received in the trade of their beloved blonde Red Wing fan. While Nate McLouth has been relatively productive in his first few games as a Brave, a quality start by Morton tonight and continued exciting play by McCutch should bring some more Bucco fans back off the ledge. A win tonight could also salvage a series that's seen the Bucs drop two games they very well could have (and should have) won.

In other Bucco news, Bloggin' Bob Smizik is spewing garbage again...

He raised the ghost of Dave Littlefield, saying that the Pirates' drafting of BC catcher Tony Sanchez was clearly a cost-effective move, a draft pick taken because of signability instead of baseball ability. Somebody PLEASE kill him. This team does not need to save money. Instead of wasting big money on a big-name, unproven, injury-risk pitcher, the Pirates draft a guy who's excels defensively at a position where his strengths are hard to find. Bob...your honest opinion please...

"That's commendable, but for a team in desperate need of pleasing its fans, once again the Pirates have struck out."

So teams should draft to please fans and not to build a team according to a plan? Remember when the Bucs were committed to rebuilding at the turn of this century, only to turn around and dump millions on washed-up names like Bell, Meares, Young, Mondesi, etc. just to get people excited? How did that work out for you, Mr. Smizik? The draft is not a PR move, nobody knows who 95% of these kids are outside of their hometowns. Just because the Pirates drafted a kid last year with signability issues doesn't mean they have to do it every year. The Pirates did the right thing, they realized that other than Strasburg and Ackley, there was no other can't-miss elite prospects, just a bunch of similar pitchers, none who stood out from the rest. They took a position player, knowing that when they drafted in the sandwich and second rounds there would be plenty of quality young arms available without much of a dropoff in talent or potential. It's another savvy move by GM Neal Huntington and his staff. Once again, I'm loving the direction this team is going in, fuck all the naysayers and ignoramous talking heads who live in the "What can you do for me now?" world. I've waited sixteen years, and now that I can start to see a legitimate light at the end of the proverbial tunnel, I'm willing to wait a few more.

What's It Gonna Be, Bob?

Does anybody else remember when Bob Smizik retired? Did I dream that it happened? If so, why is he still allowed to write a blog on the Post-Gazette's website? Bloggin' Bob is up to his tricks again, flip-flopping his way through another journalistic masterpiece. Smizik was one of the first "writers" to comment on the Nate McLouth trade, announcing that your Pittsburgh Pirates have officially given up on the present, criticizing the move and in turn accusing the Buccos brass of alienating the remaining 37 fans that still care. Thirteen hours later...Bloggin' Bob had an epiphany, deeming the McLouth move a "bold gamble worth taking." Who pays this clown to write? Why would anyone in their right mind read anything that this guy publishes?

Continuing my thoughts on the trade of "Nate the Brave"...to all the fools who think that this is a terrible move (including the retard who called Stan and Guy's "love the" radio show and announced to the free world that this was the darkest day in Pirates' history) please take the time to understand what GM Neal Huntington's actions have just landed your ball club. He traded a guy...

• who has started just over one full season in the majors. Until last year, Nate was just a bench player, and went into last season competing with Nyjer Morgan for the starting CF job. While he had a great year last year, it could be an abberation. He is a career .261 hitter...
• that made an All-Star appearance because the Pirates have to send one player to the Midsummer Classic every year, and no one else on that team was even remotely deserving to be there last year...
• who benefitted greatly from batting in a lineup last year that featured Jason Bay and Xavier Nady. After they were sent packing in July, McLouth's numbers took a hit...
  

In return for the good-but-not-great McLouth, the Bucs received two of the top eight ranked prospects in the Braves' system (and if you know baseball, you know the Braves consistenly have one of the best systems in professional ball) and another guy with big-league experience who could step in today and help the team. Like Bay, McLouth is a solid Major League outfielder. He's not a guy you can build your team around, he's more of a complimentary piece of the puzzle, he's not gonna lead your team to the promised land by himself. Because he played in a market that is devoid of superstars, he was awarded the mantle of "face of the franchise" by default. Huntington did the right thing by trading him while his value was at his highest. Don't get me wrong, I like Nate McLouth, and I wish him well. But this trade shows that the Pirates' brass is finally committed to building for the future the right way (are you listening, Dave Littlefield?) And I know it's only one day post-trade, but things are looking up already...

Andrew McCutchen: 2-4, 3 R, 1 RBI, 1 BB, 1 SB

Charlie Morton: 7 IP, 4 H, O ER, 7 K, 1 BB

Even the eternal Pirates' pessimist like myself is getting excited...

WELCOME TO THE FUTURE

Carlos Beltran, GO FUCK YOURSELF

After the Bucco Lumber Company put the beatdown on the other team from New York, Carlos Beltran had some comments...

"We have to find a way to play better, there's no doubt. Overall. I'm not pointing fingers at anybody. Offense, defense, pitching -- we have to find a way to play better. The reality of this is, coming here to Pittsburgh and being swept -- personally, I feel embarrassed.

"I know they're a big-league ballclub, but we're better than them," he said. "We're better than them. We know we're better than them, but we have to do something about it." (remember our buddy Bronson sounding just like this after getting shelled by the Buccos?)

FUCK YOU TOO!

Adding to Beltran's embarrassment was that the Pirates had just traded away their gayest player -- All-Star center fielder Nate McLouth -- the day before. "McLouth wasn't there and they still come out and score how many runs? Eleven? Eleven runs," he said. "So we have to play better."

Well Carlos, here is my opinion on you. Maybe if you weren't sitting out nursing your 'stomach virus' in the first two games, (which I am guessing is related to large amounts of man cum in sitting in your stomach - dripping from the back of your throat), you could have made an impact. Worry about your team and don't disrespect Pittsburgh's. Jo Jo Reyes is out till the All Star game, Mike Pelfrey gets beat up more than Mrs.Beltran, and you have a Pirate castaway (Perez) who blows. You have your own problems. You can't beat Philly, really - PHILADELPHIA. The World PHUCKING Champions, how gay is that? All because the better team, the METS, always choke. In big games, on big dicks - you choke. I hate the METS.

oh and, how about those BUCCOS?

A Rodney That Deserves No Respect

What a tool.

It's a great day for NFL offenses today, as they will no longer have to be exposed to Rodney Harrison's cheap shots and incessant chirping any longer. The long-time Charger/Patriot hung up his cleats today, relieving the NFL of one of its dirtiest players. Harrison tried to downplay his legacy as a dirty player, but both players and coaches tended not to agree with his own personal assessment of his play. But fear not fellow NFLers...while you may not have to listen to Rodney on the field, you'll get to hear him criticize you every week on NBC broadcasts! Just as soon as you feel like you've gotten a break from this clown, NBC decided to jam him right down our throats. I'm beginning to feel like earning a sports journalism or broadcasting degree is as about as good as holding shares in GM right about now. "You played professionally? We'll look past your 4th-grade reading level and you overwhelming lack of proper English and throw you into a prime-time broadcasting gig!" I know networks want to get an "insider's take" from guys who actually played in the NFL, but I also don't want to feel like I've gotten dumber from watching an NFL pregame show.

Groundhog Day

How fitting was it that I watched "Groundhog Day" starring the immortal Bill Murray on FX Saturday, minutes before the Pens were about to start their rematch with the hated Detroit Red Wings? Watching the first two games of the series was painful, just like last year. But unlike last year's opening games in Detroit, the Pens played well enough to win this time around. Instead, because of a few fluke goals and some unlucky bounces the Pens head back home facing the same 2-0 deficit they faced last year. Anyone giving up on this team already needs punched in the face. This is the same team that battled back from 10th place in the standings earlier this year to clinch the 4th seed in the East. This is the same team that lost the first two games on the road in Washington, only to battle back and win that series. This is the same team that was outplayed, outcoached, and overmatched in the first two games of last year's finals, only to battle back and make it an interesting series. Until the Pens lose a game at home, they're still very much alive.

After last night's game, I was pissed. I kept going back to the time Mario Lemieux retired from the NHL for the first time back in the late 90's. He was tired of the constant clutching and grabbing that slowed the game down and didn't allow the stars play the way they were capable of playing. After the lockout, the league promised to crack down on obstruction and allow the world-class talent a chance to shine. For the most part, it's worked. The game is regaining popularity due to the emergence of offensive stalwarts like Malkin, Crosby and Ovechkin. After watching the Red Wings, I can see why the NHL champions its offensive stars and doesn't give the Wings the credit their fans always whine about. That team is near unwatchable. If the referees called interference like the NHL promised it would, the Wings would be penalized every time the opposing team dumped the puck into their end. Countless times the Pens would send the puck in deep, only to be thwarted at the blue line by a defenseman who had no intentions of turning and chasing, but instead would stand flat-footed and obstruct the forechecker. Just look at the play when Niklas Kronwall held up Jordan Staal last night. Even Edzo said that was a blatant non-call. Mikael Samuelsson held up a man off the faceoff that led to the first Detroit goal. Marian Hossa hooked, then slashed Pascal Dupuis directly before the second goal. Jonathan Eriksson held up Evgeni Malkin with his free hand, Malkin got pissed and threw him off, in turn taking the penalty himself. I'm not whining, I just hate the whole notion of refs swallowing their whistles and letting players play in the playoffs. These are obvious fouls, they are called during the regular season, why should a team have to change the way they play now? And I'm not the only one who feels this way.

If I hear one more Red Wing player or fan cry because Sidney Crosby gets all the attention and they get no respect I might vomit. The viewing public wants to watch skill and imagination, not obstruction. There's a reason the Red Wings are hated among die-hard hockey fans, and it's not because they always win. It's because it seems like there's a different set of rules when your team plays Detroit.

Mission: Possible. Objective 4 of 4 (Detroit Red Wings)

Pittsburgh vs. Detroit, the Rematch

Let's hop in the Delorean and return to July 1, 2008, the first day of the NHL free agency signing period. The Penguins sit by and watch as some of their major contributors sign with other teams. It was hard to see guys like Malone, Ruutu, Laraque, etc. come and go, but we all knew there was a reason to Ray Shero's madness. He had to save cap room for Marian Hossa, the talented winger acquired at the trade deadline to play alongside Sidney Crosby. Most of us figured that Hossa would resign with the Pens, fresh off a trip to the Stanley Cup finals and loaded with top-end young talent. Little did we know what would happen next...


Hossa pulled the ultimate Benedict Arnold move and signed with the Red Wings, a team that just ended his season weeks before. Penguin Nation was stunned, shocked, pissed...you get the point. So you could argue that not only did the Pens lose out on Hossa, but they also lost the opportunity to resign key guys like Malone, who was commanding big money on the open market, but has since said he would have taken less to stay in his hometown. The problem at the time was that Shero deemed Hossa as being a higher priority, and had the Pens been able to retain him, there was no money left over for guys like Malone. So Bugsy went to greener pastures (greener only in money terms) and the Pens were stuck combing through the free agency leftovers.

Back to the present...the Pens and Red Wings, for the most part, cruised through their respective conferences and will meet again for the chance to lift Lord Stanley's Cup. And the main storyline (which will be thrown at you from every possible angle) will be the Marian Hossa situation. The Penguins now know how it feels to be so close to winning, and their drive and determination should be at an all-time high, and the fact that the former teammate who spurned them this past summer will be on the other side should add fuel to the proverbial fire. With Crosby and Malkin playing like they're the best players in the world and Detroit's injury situation, I've got a feeling the Cup will be back in the 'Burgh sooner rather than later.

I'd love to be in the handshake line if the Pens can pull it off. Pens in six.
LET'S GO PENS

A New Hope...

It's almost the start of June, and around these parts Memorial Day usually signals the premature end to another futile Pittsburgh Pirates season. For once, even with the recent long losing streak and inevitable debut of should-have-been-a-Pirate Matt Wieters, the usual Bucco pessimist like myself has a reason to keep an eye on the Bucs into June and possibly beyond. Just ask the boys over at Baseball Prospectus. The stat junkies over there still give your Pirates a 9.46% chance to make the playoffs this season. Now that may not seem like much, but that's better than the ranking they gave ten other big-league teams...

• Giants - 8.78%
• Mariners - 6.14%
• Rockies: 4.84%
• Athletics: 4.36%
• White Sox: 4.33%
• Marlins: 3.20%
• Orioles: 2.77%
• Diamondbacks: 2.58%
• Astros: 2.25%
• Nationals: 0.52%

So there are baseball people out there other than 6th Ward who see a glimmer of hope for these Bucs. I have to admit, if they can stay healthy, keep up the strong starting pitching and continue getting contributions from young guys such as Morgan, Moss and Little LaRoche, there might be something for sports fans in Pittsburgh to look forward to in July other than the return of the Steelers to Saint Vincent. Add to that the return of Ryan Doumit and the more-than-likely debut of Andrew McCutcheon and it's shaping up to be an interesting summer over at PNC Park (and that's without even including SkyBlast in the conversation.)

Rant From The Recliner

Everyone is quick to jump on the Pittsburgh Pirates for making bonehead decisions, but let's take this moment to thank the powers that be for not letting the Pirates sign Daniel Cabrera.

...the sun will come out, tomorrow...

The Washington Nationals designated pitcher Daniel Cabrera for assignment tonight. Now, let it be clear that I am not stroking the Buccos for deciding not to sign this guy, because that is not how it went down. We are lucky that the Nationals beat out the Buccos and Mets in the bidding war. 2.6 million for an ERA just under 6 in 40 innings of work, well done Washington,well done.

Speaking of giant pieces of shit...

Eric Gagne signed with the Can-Am independent league Quebec Capitales. Roids, HGH and probably gay sex brought this guy down and I LOVE IT. Even the Brewers thought this guy had absolutely nothing left (bet they wish it was before they gave him 10 million for 1 season of garbage). SEE YOU LATER SUCKER!

in other baseball news...

Could have been Pittsburgh Pirate (see, even I - king superfan can criticize the Buccos) Matt Wieters will make his debut Friday night against Dontrelle Willis and the Tigers. Zaun, later dude. Weiters is nasty, slugging .552 in May, but I still bet that Doumit could drink him under the table.

Goodbye to You

Sorry Mr. Cowher...

I find it interesting that the Hurricanes would have a coach with a history of losing conference championships sound the horn before their final game of the season. How appropriate...

Other NHL News (Not That It Really Matters)

Amazingly, there are other stories in the NHL other than the Penguins...

-Rumor has it that over-the-hill goon Bobby Holik will retire. Good riddance. The guy is a joke, a cheap shot artist extraordinaire and long-time thorn in the Pens' side. A few years overdue, in my opinion. At least he'll never be burdened with the rigors of being a team captain anymore.

-Speaking of guys that need to retire immediately, Jeremy Roenick is opening his mouth once again, accusing Red Wings coach Mike Babcock of hating American-born players. His reasoning? Babcock chooses not to play Chris Chelios on a regular basis.

"The coach just doesn't like him for some ungodly known reason. I think he's got a grudge against American players, but he does not like Chelly at all."

Let's see here...why would you play Chelios? Zero points in 28 regular-season games. A Red Wings roster chalk full of defensive studs named Lidstrom, Rafalski, Stuart, etc. 47 years old. Chelios dismissed the story, realizing that while he might be only a few months away from collecting Social Security, he's at least not losing it as fast as Roenick. I'm tired of talking about Jeremy Roenick, please do us all a favor and hang 'em up.

-Another two aging NHL stars plan on leaving the NHL, but not the game of hockey entirely. The Washington Capitals may have two holes to fill this offseason, with the announcement that both Sergei Fedorov and Viktok Kozlov are bolting the NHL for their native home of Russia to play next season in the KHL. While both are past their prime and don't contribute on the ice as much as they once did, they provided a comfort zone for fellow Russian countrymen and teammates Alex Ovechkin and Alexander Semin, and this could be a huge blow for the up-and-coming Caps.

-The Colorado Avalanche might be making a huge mistake in their questionable pursuit of Patrick Roy as coach/executive/whatever. While I admire his impeccable hockey accomplishments and hatred of the aformentioned Jeremy Roenick, he has never coached at a level higher than his sons' junior teams. And we all know how that went...

Roy is a hothead, and while he knows a ton about the game, I question this love affair. Having Roy aboard will not put more people in the seats. For a franchise that made one of the best deals ever, this move is a real head-scratcher.

-And now for my closing editorial. Please, please, PLEASE bring the NHL back to ESPN. I long for the days of NHL 2Night and daily coverage of the game. It was so refreshing seeing the Worldwide Leader kick off Sportscenter with in-depth coverage during the Pens-Caps series. Now that NBC is in control, we might have to wait TEN DAYS between games here in the 'Burgh, with the below-average biased local coverage being our only fix. If Gary Bettman really wants to expand the game's audience, swallow your pride and get back in bed with ESPN.

This is Just a Tribute...

A prelude to the death of the legend of one of Pittsburgh's most beloved sports icons...we will miss you William Laird Cowher...

Cowher's legacy in Pittsburgh is on life support, as is the 2009 Carolina Hurricanes season. If Coach Cowher follows through on his publicity stunt tonight and sounds the horn before another Canes' meltdown, his Pittsburgh sports obituary will be written. Happy trails fool.

LET'S GO PENS

Reflections From the Beach

After returning from Emerald Isle, NC, I wanted to let you all know about our experience with Canes fans. Surprisingly, when we went to The Beach Tavern to watch Game 2, we were embraced as visitors by the hundred or so Carolina faithful. Sure when the Pens scored and we cheered we were gently booed, but all and all there was no ill will. For the majority of the game I sat at the bar with a "superfan" wearing a Canes jersey on one side, and the owner of the bar on the other. We enjoyed pleasant conversation and we each praised one another for how well the other's home town team had been playing.

When the subject of rival teams came up and I said most Pittsburgh fans hate Philly, the "superfan" told me that the only hated rival in Carolina was Boston. I just though 6th Ward would enjoy hearing that.

The funniest thing about the whole experience was at the end of the first when Carolina was up 3-2, someone played The Scorpions song "Rock You Like a Hurricane" and everyone there sang the chorus.

We left for home after the second and as we walked out there were many handshakes and good luck was wished both ways. I salute Carolina fans for being good sports, because I know if it had been the other way around and an out of town fan came to one of our bars, they would probably leave after five minutes.

Peavy to White Sox? Nope!

The other team in Chicago, the White Sox, and the San Diego Padres earlier agreed to a deal that would send Peavy to Chicago in exchange for four Sox pitching prospects. But Peavy, whose conract includes a full no-trade clause through this season, drank a bottle of Jager...

and said, "fuck that".

I have always thought this hick was too much of a diva. Get over yourself Jake! I bet if it was Boston knocking at the door Peavy would have his bags packed.
Padres suck, White Sox suck, and fucking Boston sucks.

GO BUCCOS!

Who You Gonna Call?

This has nothing to do with the sports world, but it is awesome news so listen up fuckers: Ghostbusters 3 is ON!

Columbia Pictures hired the executive producers from The Office to write a Ghostbusters reunion movie. In a new interview on Entertainment Tonight online, Dan Aykroyd confirms that he Bill 'possibly the coolest man alive' Murray, Ernie Hudson, Harold Ramis, and even Sigourney Weaver are on board for the third movie.
According to Aykroyd, production might even begin as early as this winter.
As for the film's plot, it'll deal with the aging, original Ghostbusters getting ready to retire and pass on the responsibilities of protecting NYC over to a new crew, with maybe a female or two this time helping to capture the ghoulish motherfuckers. I have half a chubber thinking about a few Hollywood racks that I would love to see busting out of a Ghostbusters uni.

Are you the Keymaster? Yes. Actually I'm a friend of his, he asked me to meet him here.

Break Up the Bucs!

Don't look now, but your Pittsburgh Pirates are riding a four-game winning streak, hoping to eliminate any memory of that gut-wrenching nine-game losing streak they endured a little while back. This ten-game road trip has massive implications on any hope of a successful Buccos season (and by successful I mean anything close to .500 baseball.) Helping the Pirates' cause this week was a well-timed trip to the nation's capital, which is home to the Expos, er I mean Nationals, a team that is in worse shape than your Bucs (if that's humanly possible.) If you thought the Pirates' bullpen was bad, just take a look at what the Nationals have rotting in their pen.

That's right. Not one, not two, not three but four, count em, FOUR former Bucco castoffs are floundering in the Nats' bullpen. Joe Beimel, Ron Villone, Kip fucking Wells and Julian Tavarez all call DC their home for this season. It really makes Jesse Chavez and Matt Capps look pretty appealing if you ask me. And anytime you can use a Slapshot quote to harass a team's closer, that's pretty awesome as well.

"Hey Hanrahan! Hanrahan! Hanrahan - Suzanne sucks pussy! Hey Hanrahan she's a dyke! I know, I know! She's a lesbian, a lesbian, a lesbian!"

I may have to purchase a seat near the Nats' pen when they come to town in early August. But anyways, it's refreshing to see the Buccos turn it around a little and creep closer to respectability. And it's also nice to see Brandon Moss finally start to live up to some of his expectations. After I called out Andy LaRoche repeatedly, he turned it on, and so I then focused my unforgiving wrath on Moss, who has responded as well. So if you know anyone that is underachieving and needs a nice kick in the ass, let me know.

RAISE THE JOLLY ROGER BIATCH!

Root Root Root For Our Home Team

Never was there a more appropriate theme for a sports team than the "We Are Family" Pittsburgh Pirates. Whether you play or root for a Pittsburgh sports franchise, you're forever part of a fraternity that knows no limits. I know I rag on some local sports fans for taking their rooting interests to ridiculous levels, but it is refreshing to see our local sports heroes become part of the community.

The Pens support their Pittsburgh sporting brethren. And their brothers return the favor...

Whoa, wait a second...let's take a look at these last few pictures for a moment. There's one common theme, they're all members of the Steelers organization. But to quote the immortal Sesame Street...one of these things is not like the others. Mike Tomlin, Casey Hampton, and Jeff Reed are all regular fixtures in the crowd at Mellon Arena. As for Little Ben, when he makes an "appearance" at a Pens' game, it's in Mario's luxury box. And every time he shows up to a game, he just happens to be part of an in-game interview. It's this aloofness and elite sense of entitlement that rubs some Pittsburghers like myself the wrong way. From Empty-Netters:

"Hmmm..... Ben Roethlisberger was just shown on the video screen. He's offered a nice, polite applause. James Farrior is then shown and he gets a louder applause."

But you gotta at least give Ben credit for rooting for the home team. When one of these heroes turns his back on the 'Burgh, the wrath is unforgiving.

Example #1: William Cowher

Bill Cowher was born and raised in Pittsburgh. He coached the Pittsburgh Steelers, the most beloved franchise in sports, and led them to a Super Bowl title. He achieved a God-like status that eludes most sports figures. So why would he turn his back on his hometown and openly root for the team in his new digs? It's baffling to most, and there has to be some sort of alterior motive behind all of this. I never was a die-hard Cowher fan, he was too Schottenheimer-like for my tastes, but I didn't hate the guy. Now I'm starting to wonder...

Rant From The Recliner

PENS WIN! PENS WIN!

Fleury 23 saves. Pens BALL OUT as usual.

Our Pittsburgh Pirates took their hot bats to the Nation's capital with one goal - not to pick up AIDS. Okay, 2 goals - no AIDS (3% there, what the fuck?)and to sweep the Nationals. The Bucco Lumber Company decided to drive in five runs in the sixth one day after 10-run inning against the Rockies. Jack Wilson fell a dinger short of a cycle, batting 4-4 with 3 runs, 2 rbi and one walk. In the midst of Jack's hot night, the Seattle Times reports that the Bucs and Mariners could swap shortstops, with Yuniesky Betancourt coming to Pittsburgh and Jack Wilson heading to Seattle. Other players could be involved. Betancourt is younger but more costly, as he's guaranteed about $10.5 million over the next three years. Betancourt isn't much of a hitter or defender, and at 27 he probably doesn't have a whole lot of headroom. If the Pirates are considering this, they need to get other players as well.

Let's hope Big Neal doesn't make his first total bonehead move.

Now get out there and take the next 3 in DC and 6 in Chicago!

Mission: Possible. Objective 3 of 4 (Hartford Whalers)

Oh wait, I forgot...

It's been over ten years since the sweet sounds of Brass Bonanza has been blasted over the loudspeakers at an NHL game. The beloved Whalers are now known as the Carolina Hurricanes, a move that alienated some of hockey's most hardcore fans. But let's not get too sentimental, it's the Eastern Conference Finals, and your Pittsburgh Penguins have a chance to return to the Stanley Cup Finals for the second year in a row. Looking back at what the Pens have accomplished so far, any sane human being would have to consider making it this far to be a success. In February, this team was in tenth place in the East, on the outside looking in. Fast forward three months, and the Pens have not only fought their way back into the playoff picture, but they've knocked off arguably their two most-hated rivals in reaching the Eastern Conference Finals in the process. And what else is amazing is that they will have home-ice advantage in this series, with most pundits giving them the edge over the Hurricanes. So you'd be hard-pressed not to deem what the Pens have achieved thus far as anything less than a success, but this team wants more, and is in position to have it. This team has displayed the will, drive and passion needed for any team to survive the gauntlet that is the hardest tournament in the world. But in actuality, we're only halfway home.

I have to admit, when you play teams like Philthadelphia and Washington, it's a lot easier to get into the series and convey actual hate for the opposition. With Carolina, not so much. The Pens and Canes only play four times a season, and most of their head-to-head matchups don't garner too much interest. Well, there was this one time...

I'm sure the Orpik-Cole situation will be discussed ad nauseum. As will the fact that...

Jordan and Eric Staal are brothers.

If you didn't know that already, the guys on Versus will be sure to let you know at least 657 times tonight. So there will be a few story lines to this series, and if the Pens want to reach the Finals again, they'll have to take down two familiar faces that were a huge part of bringing the Cup to the 'Burgh...

I don't think I need to tell you who, at least I hope I don't.

And don't forget about the other hometown hero-turned bandwagon Canes fan...

Totally inexcusable.

So it starts all over again tonight. As usual, for any of your Pens' needs, check out The Pensblog and Empty Netters. If the Pens can get to Cam Ward early and often, I see a return trip to the Finals for the Pens. Pens in five.

LET'S GO PENS