Checking In With an Old Friend

Last night the Anaheim Ducks knocked off the San Jose Sharks, the NHL's top team in the regular season, to earn a second round matchup with the vaunted Detroit Red Wings. Not too shabby for a team that was out of playoff contention at the trade deadline (sound familiar?) At the deadline, in order to shake things up a bit, the Ducks moved one of their most popular players in Chris Kunitz to the Pittsburgh Penguins for an underachieving offensive defenseman named Ryan Whitney.

The only love Whitney received in Pittsburgh over the past year.

Whitney, a one-time top 5 pick for the Pens, was mercurial at best in his time on the Pittsburgh blue line. He was once looked upon as the heir apparent to Sergei Gonchar, but with his recent injury problems, inconsistent play and the rise of up-and-coming players like Kris Letang and Alex Goligoski, Whitney was now a trading chip for Ray Shero that could be used to acquire much-needed depth on the wing. So Ryan Whitney was shipped off to the West Coast, much to the chagrin (I kid) of Pens fans everywhere.

Fast forward to the playoffs. The trade has payed off for both teams. Both the Ducks and the Pens overcame long odds and qualified for the postseason, and both knocked off their first round opponents to reach the next level. Kunitz was huge down the stretch for the Pens , and while he didn't score against the Flyers, his hit on Kimmo Timonen has become legendary.

Whitney has also regained the form that he showed in previous seasons with the Pens. In the six game series, he tallied four assists, to go along with a +2 rating in just over 21 minutes of ice time a game. On a team that already features stud blueliners in Chris Pronger and Scott Niedermayer, Whitney offers the Ducks another dangerous option from the point. He's even added a little physicality to his game, something everyone in Pittsburgh thought he'd never do.

I know it pains most Pens fans to admit Ryan Whitney could be successful after seeing him plod his way through a disappointing final abbreviated season with the Pens. But you gotta give the guy his due. Maybe he needed a change of scenery to jumpstart his game. It's not like the Pens got screwed in the deal, they added a gritty playoff-tested winger in Kunitz who's instantly become a fan favorite and who's locked up long term. And we haven't even talked about Eric Tangradi, the prospect thrown in on the deal, who's starting to look like a big time prospect. So best of luck to you Mr. Whitney, I know I'll be rooting for you during your next series. Say hello to Marian Hossa for me.

Laraque With the Assist

The only way I'd ever call Philadelphia a "sister city" to Pittsburgh was if I had a sister who was knocked up three times by the time she was twenty, had a raging addiction to methamphetamines and was on her third stint as greeter at Wal-Mart. You don't really want to admit you're related. Anytime a Pittsburgh sports team defeats one from Philadelphia in any sport, it feels a little bit better than it should, because you know some innocent wives in the eastern part on Pennsylvania are going to bed with a black eye.

Fast Eddie is double-fisting to get through this loss.

Saturday's game was an instant classic. The Pens rallied from a three-goal deficit to win 5-3 and clinch the series in six games. Things weren't looking so rosy after 14-year old Danny Briere finally started earning his inflated paycheck and scored to make it 3-0 early in the second period. What transpired next will go down in Penguins history...

Let's set the scene...Daniel Carcillo, one-time Penguins farmhand and goon extraordinaire, decides to throw down with Max Talbot. Now most teams use an orchestrated fight to turn momentum in their way when things aren't looking so rosy. The Flyers choose to fight because they're talentless hacks who love to play up to their meathead mentality. According to the Pensblog:

"What was Carcillo thinking? In WPXI's post-game, Talbot said the Flyers bench was telling Carcillo to fight. Unbelievable."

Obviously, Carcillo and Talbot aren't the best of friends. Something must have happened in WB-S years ago to set this precedent. Perhaps you remember Game 1...

So anyways, the rest is history...the Pens take the momentum from the fight, score five unanswered goals and send the Flyers to a familiar place for the rest of the Stanley Cup playoffs...their couches. I'm sure you read the headline and are wondering what Georges Laraque has to do with all of this. Rewind to late in the 2007 season. The resurgent Pens were about to embark on their first foray into the playoffs in years. GM Ray Shero, in all his genius, noticed that teams were taking liberties with star Sidney Crosby, and addressed the need for an enforcer to protect Sid's head. Enter Big Georges Laraque.

Artwork by Georges Laraque.

Shero had to give something up to get BGL. And that something (or nothing, in my opinion) was one-time third round draft pick Daniel Carcillo. When acquired by Phoenix, Wayne Gretzky himself was so enamored of Carcillo, he proclaimed that one day he'd be a thirty-goal scorer in the NHL. After 2+ years of watching Carcillo, he realized that Carcillo would have a hard time reaching 30 goals for his career and shipped him to a place where thugs like him are loved more by fans than their own children, Philthadelphia. And the rest, so they say, is history.

When the Pens drafted Carcillo, they obviously imagined him contributing to the Pens in the future. It took a few years and a different jersey, but Carcillo's contributions propelled the Pens one step closer to that elusive third Cup.

One final note and then the Flyers are dead to me until next year...

I was checking out the excellent coverage (as always) at the P-G's Empty Netters blog and followed a link to a philly.com article chronicling the Flyers' most recent postseason failure. I clicked on the slideshow out of morbid interest, and couldn't help noticing a certain spelling error. The last time I checked, the captain of the Penguins' name is spelled S-I-D-N-E-Y, not S-Y-N-D-E-Y. I saw it and just figured that the editor of that site is a moron who doesn't know how to proofread his website, but when I saw the same error repeated again, and again, and again it was just too good to be true. Even the "journalists" in Philadelphia are jealous. To the second round...

Are You Kidding Me?

Its Game 5 of a highly contested series between Philly and Pitt and guess what I CANT FUCKING SEE THE GODDAMN GAME!!!! This is not the first time this has happened to a FOX Sports Broadcast. Are you trying to tell me you have no backup plan when something like this happens, its amateurish busch league bullshit. Someone needs fired immediately!!!! To make matters worse my wife is at the game so I will get to hear all about it. Hopefully for Fox Sports sake this doesn't turn out to be an epic battle that goes into 2 OT's and the Pens win, there might be death. I am to fucking mad to think of anything else to type so I'm out. FUCK FOX SPORTS

Big Trouble in Little Cleveland

When will Professional athletes learn to live like millionaires? Sure they buy big houses, big cars, and big jerrerry, but when it comes to common sense, they live like bums. Cleveland wide receiver Donte Stallworth proved this in March when he drove his own car drunk home from a nightclub and killed a pedestrian. A quote from the Miami Herald makes it very hard to have any sympathy...

"Miami Beach police said Stallworth, 28, was driving his Bentley drunk on March 14 when he hit and killed a pedestrian crossing the road on the McArthur Causeway. Stallworth, who had been partying at a posh Miami Beach nightclub, is charged with DUI manslaughter."

I like to think that any of us that came upon millions of doll-hairs would have the sense to take a limo to a South Beach hot spot. At least hire a driver for fuck's sake! I think the NFL should hire someone to teach these guys to live smarter with their money so that when temptation presents itself they make the right decision. Oh wait, they already do! I guess we should just face the facts that shit like this could happen to anyone.

The Real Bitches

Isn't it funny how the only thing you ever hear coming out of Philthadelphia is how Sidney Crosby is a whiner and a diver and a bitch? It's probably the biggest case of jealousy and envy in all of professional sports. It's also a major case of the pot calling the kettle black. For example...

-Mike Richards, captain of the cheap shot. If you've ever listened to this guy talk, you know he's been getting his share of brotherly love in his spare time. His lisp, to steal a line from the classic Blazing Saddles "sounds like steam escaping." If he's not a closet case, I don't know who is. For your viewing pleasure, a clip of a Richards interview from November 2007. Notice the overly tight shirt, the Bobby Brown headset and of course, the lisp that a Canadian accent can't even hide...

-Daniel Briere, the man who had a decent playoff run a few years back and turned it into one of the most outrageous contracts in NHL history. He's a major reason the Flyers couldn't trade for a guy like Jay Bouwmeester at the deadline. His contract eats up so much of the cap, and the problem for the Flyers is he's constantly hurt. It could be because he's built like a 14-year old boy. Sure, some adults are smaller than others. But someone should check Briere's driver's license, cause he sure does sound like a 14-year old boy too. There's no way this guy is four years older than me. To quote the late, great Michel Therrien, Daniel Briere is "soff." The only thing less threatening than an overrated Francophone hockey player who sounds like he just huffed all the helium out of the balloons at a child's birthday party is challenging a one-armed midget to a 1-on-1 game of hoops.

-Even people in Boston know the Flyers and their fans are jokes, and that's saying a lot. Jack Edwards (you may remember him from Sportscenter, back when it was still watchable) is now the voice of the Boston Bruins. He had a front-row seat to the goonery the Flyers displayed last season, witnessing the cheap shot that could have ended Patrice Bergeron's career. He pulled no punches in making fun of Philly in this clip...

-Not even wasting my time on Scott Fartsmell.

Pictures are worth a thousand words.

As much as I dislike Paul Steigerwald, he made an excellent point before Game Four. Philly fans like to claim Pittsburghers live too much in the past. If they would stop booing and throwing beer on people long enough to actually watch their joke of a hockey franchise, they'd realize that they're trying to reincarnate the Broad Street Bullies brand of hockey that last worked in 1975. It's ok for a city to celebrate their past sporting triumphs when they actually have a past to celebrate...

Philadelphia Major Sports Titles:
NFL: Eagles (NONE)
MLB: Phillies (two: 1980, 2008)
NHL: Flyers (two: 1974,1975)
NBA: Sixers (two: 1967,1983)

Pittsburgh Major Sports Titles:
NFL: Steelers (six: 1974, 1975, 1978, 1979, 2005, 2008)

MLB: Pirates (five: 1909,1925, 1960, 1971, 1979)
NHL: Penguins (two: 1991,1992)
NBA: smart enough to not have an NBA franchise

So one of the five largest markets in sports has as many major sports titles combined as the Steelers alone. That's impressive (oops, I forgot to count Arena Football titles...the Philadelphia Soul won the Arena Bowl in 2008, but they're more famous for their owner, Jon Bon Jovi. That guys huffs a lot of dong too, which lets him fit in well in Philly.) So forgive us for living in the past, it's a lot easier to remember the glory days than relive repeated failures (I was gonna do a sweet video montage of such memorable Philly collapses featuring Mitch Williams serving up Joe Carter, Donovan McNabb throwing up and shitting the bed at the same time in the Super Bowl, Allen Iverson being Allen Iverson, and anything with T.O. in it, but I'm done wasting my time with this waste of a city.)

So instead, I leave you with the last meeting between the Pens and Flyers from last season, which features something we're gonna see in the not-too-distant future...

Philly sucks.

LET'S GO PENS

Killing Time While Unemployed

One of the pastimes I have had lately is watching movies. Honestly, in the past month I'll bet I have watched a hundred at least.

Where is this going you ask? Right now Tom is thinking something like this, "Goddammit Penn, this is a fucking sports blog! That's it I'm stripping your posting privileges immediately!" Don't worry Tommy, there is a point to this.

There are only two kinds of movies that make me tear up. The first is any film with a heroic or lovable dog and said pooch dies in the end. Movies like Homeward Bound ( I know the dog doesn't die in the end but my dog's name is Shadow and when he and his owner are reunited at the end it melts my heart) and Marley and Me ( If you are a dog lover DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE WITH ANYONE YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU BALL LIKE A FOUR YEAR OLD GIRL!). The other kind of flick that gets my water running are sports movies.

I have compiled a list of my top 5 favorite acting performances that depicts real life sports figure and invite you all to do the same....

1. John Goodman as Babe Ruth, The Babe
2. Ray Liotta as "Shoeless" Joe Jackson, Field of Dreams
3. Kurt Russel as Herb Brooks, Miracle
4. Thomas Jane as Mickey Mantle, 61
5. Gary Cooper as Lou Gehrig, The Pride of the Yankees


That's my 5 and yes, I do cry every time I watch any of these movies.

No One is Dodging This Draft

After reading Penn's inaugural post focusing on the best NFL draft ever and witnessing Marc-Andre Fleury's outstanding performance in last night's playoff victory, I started thinking about what could possibly be the best NHL draft ever. The year was 2003, the New Jersey Devils were fresh off another Stanley Cup victory over the upstart Anaheim (still Mighty) Ducks, and the Pittsburgh Penguins were mired in their post-Jagr postseason slump. The Pens held the third pick overall, but traded that pick, along with Mikael Samuelsson, to the Florida Panthers for the right to choose MAF first overall and draft what they viewed to be the franchise goalie they've lacked since trading away Tom Barrasso a few years earlier.

Fast forward six years...Fleury, after a few growing pains, led the Pens to the brink of Stanley Cup glory a year ago, and once again has the Pens poised for another long playoff run. It's hard to argue with the Pens' choice of Fleury, but had they taken any of these top-5 picks I think they'd still be happy.

#2 Eric Staal (Carolina): One of the best power forwards in the game. The oldest of the Staal gang is a goal scoring machine who led the Canes to a Cup win in 2004.

#3 Nathan Horton (Florida): After moving down, the Panthers picked up a franchise winger who is finally coming into his own.

#4 Nikolai Zherdev (Columbus): A world-class skater and stick-handler, Zherdev disappears at times, but has shown flashes of brilliance since his trade to the Rangers.

#5 Thomas Vanek (Buffalo): Vanek has some of the best hands in the game, and is taking his place among the biggest scoring threats in the league.

That's just the top five. Look at the rest of the first round. These guys aren't just roster fillers, these are household names. Need an elite top-line forward?

Milan Michalek (#6) Andrei Kostitsyn (#10) Dustin Brown (#13) Steve Bernier(#16) Zach Parise(#17) Ryan Getzlaf(#19) Ryan Kesler(#23) Corey Perry (#28)

Or maybe you need an impact player on the blue line...

Ryan Suter (#7) Dion Phaneuf (#9) Brent Seabrook (#14) Brent Burns (#20)

And this is just the first round! In all, 29 of the 30 players drafted in the first round of 2003 have seen action at the NHL level (way to go Hugh Jessiman, you're letting us down.) That in itself is astounding. Just ask the Philthadelphia Flyers how important the 2003 draft was to their team. Where would they be without Braydon Coburn (#8 via ATL) Jeff Carter (#11) Mike Richards (#24) or Matt Carle (#47 via SJ/TB)?

When you think it can't get any better, we move to the second round...Patrice Bergeron, who was on his way to greatness with the Bruins before the Philly goon squad concussed him last season, was taken with the 45th pick in the second round. Shea Weber, one of the best offensive-minded defensemen in the game, was taken 49th by the Nashville Kid Touchers. David Backes was the 62nd pick and led the Blues back to the playoffs this season with 31 goals.

There was even good value deep in the draft. Players such as Daniel Carcillo, Ryan O'Byrne, Jan Hejda, Marc Methot, Chris Holt, Drew Miller, Joe Pavelski, Dustin Byfuglien and Shane O'Brien are contributors to playoff teams this season. And even the second to last pick in the entire draft, Brian Elliott, was the starting goalie for the Ottawa Senators down the stretch this past season. He even made an appearance on PWHallstrom's fantasy team. I can go on and on, but I think you get the point.

This draft wasn't just about quantity, it was about quality. You could argue that some of the guys taken in the middle or late first round could have been #1 overall picks in other draft years. And what's also scary is the fact that most of these guys are in their early-to-mid twenties, meaning that the stars are only going to get better as they hit their prime, and the others who haven't yet established themselves in the league are poised to make a name for themselves in the not-too-distant future.

NHL MVP Race

Just an update on how the Caps superstar "Anal" Alex Ovechkin has been doing so far in the NHL Playoffs.

Ovechkin's Washington Capitals are now down 0-2 to the lowly New York Rangers. How has Alex contributed to his team's lack of success?

0G 2A 19SOG 49 mins

On the contrary, our Pittsburgh Penguins, led by Geno and Sid, are up 2-1 to the hated Queeradelphia Criers, and are gearing up for a much anticipated game 4 after a fairly sound thrashing. The Pens stars stats for the playoffs are as follows...

Malkin

4G 3A 13SOG 52mins

Crosbey

1G 4A 11SOG 52mins

The regular season ended with Malkin winning the scoring title with 113pts. Ovechkin was second with 110 and Crosby third with 103. The amazing thing is that Malkin led the league with another top scoring superstar on his team, being on the same line for much of the season. One would think that they would hurt each other's stats and cancel each other out for the scoring lead. Ovechkin's closest teammate was Backstrom with 88pts. This along with what looks like a major choke job by Alex and his Caps, I just have one thing to say....

Malkin for MVP!!!!

Building a Dynasty

On the week of the NFL draft, possibly my favorite weekend of the year, I wanted to take a minute and talk about the greatest draft class in NFL history. The year was 1974 and Our Pittsburgh Steelers had just come off a 10-4 season and a disappointing first round playoff loss to the hated Oakland Raiders.

Chuck Noll's draft philosophy was to draft the best player available no matter the position need and in the first round The Steelers picked a WR from USC named Lynn Swann. Round two saw Pittsburgh select an undersized linebacker from Kent State. His name was Jack Lambert. Pick three was traded prior to the draft for a defensive lineman but they had two picks in the fourth round. Those picks turned out to be John Stallworth, WR from Alabama, and Jimmy Allen DB from UCLA whom would eventually be traded to Detroit. In my opinion, the 125th overall pick in the fifth round of this draft is the second biggest steal in NFL draft history because it garnered arguably the greatest center to ever play the game, Wisconsin's Mike Webster. (Bonus points to anyone that guesses which pick I think is the biggest steal ever!)

So count 'em up gents. That's four Hall of Famers in one draft! To put it in perspective no other team has ever drafted more than two HOF'ers in a single draft.

Let's hope this Steeler's regime has the insight and luck that "Good Luck Chuck" had in '74. I doubt seriously there will be even one HOF'er in our draft class but perhaps we can at least get an All Pro or two out of the pack!

A Reason to Celebrate

It's another big day in Pittsburgh sports today, with the Pens taking on the Cryers in game two and your Pittsburgh Pirates welcoming the Braves to town over on the North Side. There's plenty to talk about, such as the NHL cracking down on Daniel Carcillo and John Stevens yesterday in the form of fines and suspensions, and the Buccos trying to claw their way back to .500. What I'm most pumped about was something that happened yesterday during the Bucs' loss to the Astros...

It's a celebration bitches!

That's right, Andy LaRoche finally got his first hit of the season yesterday! It only took him 20 at-bats, but he did it! Through nine games, this is what Little LaRoche has contributed so far to his team...

8 G, 1/20 (.050 AVG) 1 R, 1 BB, 4 K, .145 OPS, 3 E

If he keeps up this blistering pace, this is what we're looking at over the entire season...

144 G, 18/360, 18 R, 18 BB, 72 K, .145 OPS, 54 E

Not good. It's too easy to pile on this guy anymore. I've just realized how much time and energy i have wasted on bashing Andy LaRoche over the past few weeks and I'm ready to stop. This really isn't an atmosphere condusive to Andy LaRoche becoming a capable contributing member of a professional baseball club. The reasons...

1. There's already an overwhelming anti-LaRoche sentiment in Pittsburgh. Andy only has to look across the diamond (and the family tree) to witness someone who's struggled in Pittsburgh. His brother has been relentlessly bashed over the past three seasons for his slow starts and ho-hum attitude. At last year's trade deadline, Bucco fans were praying to unload their LaRoche, not pick up another one.

2. He's fighting a legacy of countless failed Pittsburgh prospects. Chad Hermansen. J.J. Davis. Bobby Bradley. John Van Benschoeten. Bryan Bullington. Do I need to continue? Pittsburgh prospects have to face the fact that this organization has had a terrible run of failure when it comes to high-end prospects. Fans are guarded when it comes to guys coming up through the system, it's hard to get excited anymore about some guy who's a few years away, when in the past you've heard how one guy can "walk on water" yet when it comes to hitting Major League pitching, he sinks like lead.

3. Neil Walker and Pedro Alvarez. When your team moves a former first round draft pick to your position and then uses the #2 overall pick to draft a "can't miss" stud that also plays your position, you can't help but look over your shoulder. Many baseball people think Neil Walker is ready for the big leagues, and being that his hometown just happens to be the 'Burgh, let's just say there's a popular local sentiment to see what this guy can do. And I don't really think I need to explain Mr. Alvarez, there hasn't been this much buzz about a Pirates' prospect since Mr. Bonds.

So I have decided that it's time to hang up the Andy LaRoche bashing stick. Let's give him a few more weeks to see what he can (or can't) do. If there wasn't a tiny glimmer of hope for the Pirates' future, I might keep it up. If the only other third baseman in the Pirates' system was a guy who scouts compared to Chris Stynes or Ed Sprague, then maybe I'd stay on Andy for a bit longer. But for once in a very long time, the Pirates can offer legitimate competition to a position player, and not have to sign some overpriced stopgap. So best of luck to you Mr. Andy LaRoche, you're gonna need it.

Boom! I'm Out.

John Madden retired from broadcasting today, ending a storied career in the broadcast booth. Love him or hate him, Madden's contributions to the game of football are vast. Madden's retirement, along with the expiration of W's presidential term, spells the end of Frank Caliendo's career as well.

Sorry Frank, your fifteen minutes are up.

Most people know Madden from his work in the booth and his contributions to fat, lazy video game addicts, and tend to forget he was a very successful NFL coach for the Raiders before he started his broadcasting career. In fact he was on the sidelines for the biggest play in Pittsburgh sports history...

So happy trails Mr. Madden, it's kind of ironic that you've retired around the same time your man crush finally (hopefully) hung up his cleats and put on his Wranglers.

Identity Crisis

Not to be outshined by the opening of the Stanley Cup playoffs across town, your Pittsburgh Pirates made a deal today, acquiring OF Delwyn Young from the Dodgers for future considerations. Let's start off by clarifying who this guy really is...

This is DELWYN Young, newest member of your Pittsburgh Pirates:

This is DELMON Young, younger brother of Da Meat Hook and bat-thrower extraordinaire.

I've already heard Stan and Guy ("love the show") make this mistake this morning, and I anticipate hearing the same mistake being made over and over again. But anyways, Delwyn should be a decent switch-hitting reserve outfielder, and at 26 is still young enough to possibly fulfill some of the potential seen by the Dodgers.

Mission Possible: Objective 1 of 4 (Philthadelphia)

A few things to get you ready for the Pens/Flyers throwdown beginning tonight at Mellon Arena...

-For all your Pens' needs throughout the playoff run, bookmark the Pensblog and P-G's Empty Netters. You won't be disappointed.

-A running countdown to let you know how long it's really been since the Flyers last lifted Lord Stanley's Cup. 1975.

-Pimp out your computer with these "Flyers suck" backgrounds.

-Someone poses the million-dollar question at Yahoo! Answers.

-This is why you can't trust the Urban Dictionary.

-There's still plenty of good seats available for the Flyers' bandwagon.

-Scott Paulsen, what a human.

-If you think Pittsburgh is the only city to hate the Flyers, think again.

-If Kevin Spangler shows up at a game this series, you can be sure he's wearing this.

-And if you need something to wear to the game, you can get one of these (maternity sizes available too!)

-And a final "F You" to the worst fans in sports...

Madden '10 Sneak Peak

Being one of the head honchos at Big or Little Ben comes with its perks, such as being tight with the bros down at EA Sports. After Biggamekilla released his piece on the potential cover boy/jinx target for Madden 2010, I decided to do some investigative journalism. Here's what I found...

Biggamekilla is God's fantasy football guru.

Yes it's true, fantasy football "stars" are now rewarded with Madden covers. It seems that most NFL stars are indeed scared to be featured on the cover of Madden, so EA has decided to go to its next-best option. We'll see if Biggamekilla's juggernaut of a fantasy football team suffers from the cover jinx this fall.

Everybody Needs a Little Sandpaper

A good agitator is a must for any hockey team looking to go deep into the playoffs. For the Pens' Stanley Cup teams in the early '90s, that role was filled by a guy named Ulf Samuelsson.

Ulfie ends careers.

When Ray Shero came to town a few years back, he instantly realized that the Pens were an easy team to play against due to a lack of gritty guys like Ulf. One of his first orders of business was to go out and pick up a guy who would agitate the hell out of anyone. Enter Jarkko Ruutu.

The donut is scared.

Ruutu became an instant fan favorite in Pittsburgh with his cheap shots and easy-to-chant name (that's a big thing in the 'Burgh, just ask HEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAATH Miller.) He's one of those players you absolutely loathe unless he's on your team. After two years Jarkko was due to become a UFA again, and he was looking to get paid. Shero, understanding the economy of today's game, was unwilling to give a 33-year-old player who's game is based on grit and hitting a three-year guaranteed contract. Ruutu wanted the third year (and who can blame him?) and bolted for Ottawa. Enter Matt Cooke.

Matt Cooke hits everything hard.

People around Pittsburgh weren't sure what to think. In his two short years Ruutu was a cult hero around these parts, and any time a guy like that moves on, it's gonna be hard on his replacement to live up to those expectations. In my opinion, Cooke has met and exceeded what Ruutu was able to do in his short time here. He hits, and he hits, and he hits. He has put up impressive offensive numbers for a guy who isn't expected to produce in that manner (missed empty net attempts aside.) He gets under the skin of opposing players (ask Gary Roberts) without resorting to turning them into a snack.

A side-by-side comparison of Cooke and Ruutu's stats this season (through 81 games):

Cooke: 13 G, 18 A, 31 PTS. -1, 101 PIM, 14:12 min/game.

Ruutu: 7 G, 14 A, 21 PTS. -1, 144 PIM, 11:42 min/game.

In addition, Cooke is 6th in the league with 258 hits, compared to Ruutu's pedestrian 146. What's also amazing is that Cooke's 31 points this season is only ONE LESS than what Ruutu tallied in his TWO YEARS in Pittsburgh. So it's safe to say that Matt Cooke has been a significant upgrade over Jarkko Ruutu. He's scored, he's hit, he's fought, he's agitated and he's three years younger. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Jarkko Ruutu, but once again Ray Shero proves to Pens fans that their team is in good hands.

Who's Next John?

Its Thursday night Pens are dominating so i decided to do a little web surfing. I came across an interesting article on Yahoo sports. Seems that Madden 10 is in the finishing stages and looking for a suitable cover boy. Well my friends let me give you the short list of candidates whose careers are about to possibly be over.


1. That's right every body's favorite Mr. Little Ben himself. Now Ben do i need to remind you that damn near everyone who ever was on that cover has had career threatening injuries, jury trials for murder or dog fighting, and just in general bad luck. Do you remember when you almost DIED in that motorcycle accident? What good could possibly come out of this? Use you giant reconstructed head for once and withdraw your name from consideration, if not for yourself do it for 6th Wards sake.2. Yes its true Troy Polamalu is also being considered to be on a shared cover with Larry Fitzgerald. I would absolutely hate to see any Steeler on the cover of Madden not because i dislike them but because i do believe in the curse. If Fitzgerald is on the cover I may have to reconsider my fantasy football keepers list.

Other notables being mentioned Vikings RB Adrian Peterson, Ravens S Ed Reed, Giants RB Brandon Jacobs another Superbowl or Bust Juggernaut.

The results will be announced April 24th at the 2009 NFL draft. Get your popcorn ready!

Thrashin'

When you consistently field an underachieving hockey club, teams have to find ways to keep the fans entertained. And the Atlanta Thrashers are doing a pretty good job of it...

Thanks to the P-G's Empty Netters blog.

Instant classic. Anyone who makes fun of Alex Ovechkin is A-OK in my book. It does take some balls to take shots at the "new face" of the NHL, especially when you're team has made the playoffs once in their entire existence. I guess they weren't busy enough making tee times for next week and came up with this gem instead. But that's fine by me.

Fantasy Hotwire

The MLB baseball season is in full swing and im going to give you a little taste of greatness in this post. My hot tip for this week is to pick up Brandon Inge of the Detroit Tigers if you werent smart enough to draft him, which fortunately i was. Inge is on pace for 162 homeruns this season and qualifies at C and 3RD which are very important positions with very little quality after the big names are selected. Another hot pick up is Ubaldo Jimenez yes he is a Rockies pitcher but he is a power pitcher and will register big time strikeout numbers. One more lightening in a bottle is Emilio Bonifacio ride him while he is hot but he will cool off. Steer clear of Justin Verlander this guy is a nightmare, i dont understand how a guy who throws upwards of 100mph cant get major league players out. Until he learns how if you own him keep him benched.

LaRoche is French for "The Suck"

I have to admit, it is nice seeing the Pirates above the .500 mark this late in the season. Another promising performance by a starting pitcher (Zach Duke) helped the Bucs win again in Saint Louis last night. Duke's solid outing and four-hit efforts by the middle infielders aside, the real reason the Buccos won this game was last night's performance of Andy LaRoche. What did Andy do last night to help his team win? Nothing. Sometimes doing nothing is worth more than screwing something up. Andy was set to make a pinch-hitting appearance in the 9th last night, but John Russell realized he was messing with destiny and sat him back down. I know the real reason was to get a lefty to face the right-handed reliever Tony LaRussa just brought in when LaRoche was announced, but let me dream here. Of course, with Andy out of the lineup, big brother Adam couldn't let the Pirates go one game without a miserable LaRoche performance...

0-5, 2 K. 5 LOB.

What does proud papa Dave LaRoche think about all this? Dave carved out a respectable baseball career through the '70s and '80s, even introducing his famed "LaLob" eephus pitch. Unfortunately for him, his legacy in Pittsburgh is tarnished a bit. If he spent more time in the backyard with his boys instead of pitching a baseball 30 feet in the air at 40 mph maybe the Pirates would be a bit more respectable.

Interesting factoid of the day, according to the ever-reliable Wikipedia page of proud papa Dave:

"LaRoche is of Mexican descent. According to his son Andy, Dave LaRoche's surname was Garcia, however, he changed it to LaRoche at age seven, the last name of his stepfather. "La Roche is French, but I have no French in me," Andy LaRoche said. "My grandfather was 100% Mexican."

This is certainly good news for Mexico's next entry in the World Baseball Classic.

2-1

Ladies & gentlemen, OUR Pittsburgh Pirates are 2-1 after another exciting win in the home of the 2009 All Star Game (where you'll see 7 Buccos) the new Busch Stadium. Again, the Bucco Lumber Company was up and at it with every starter minus Adam LaRoche getting at least a hit.

"I am the real BIGGAMEKILLA"

If you're looking for a win, give the ball to these guys (Matt Capps not pictured)...

"We rock the party that rocks the party"

Life is good when the Pirates are winning.

One earned run, 17 hits - fucking a people. Duke limited Pujols to a 1-for-3 night with only a single, a notable feat considering the first baseman had reached base nine of 10 times in the first two games. And Duke found success against a team that he hadn't beaten since 2006, a span of four starts.
"When the numbers start to count, you really want to put some good outings together," said Duke, who pitched into the seventh inning in only 10 of his 31 starts last season. "As far as a team, we played great tonight. We put the pressure on them and made them make the mistakes.

The Suspense is Killing Me...I Hope it Will Last

During last night's Pens-Lightning game, I received an interesting text message from Biggamekilla. He was discussing various hockey team mascots and wanted to know what exactly a Flyer was. Most team mascots are self-explanatory...a Penguin is a flightless bird, a Bruin is a baby bear, a Predator is a kid toucher, etc. I consider myself a sports trivia nut, but I had to admit I was stumped. My answer...

"A goon-laden hockey team who hasn't won a Stanley Cup since 1975."

That's what I think of when I think of a Flyer. After some research, BGK found out that when it came time to naming the expansion Philadelphia hockey team in 1967, the winning entry was cast by a 9-year old kid who submitted the name "Fliers." How appropriate, someone from Philadelphia doesn't know how to spell. The team execs made the necessary grammatical changes and the Philadelphia Pumpkins on Ice were born.

Also serves as excellent hunting gear. Although if I saw someone wearing this I'd probably try to shoot at them.

So I pose this question to the loyal BOLB readers...what do you think a Flyer really is?

It's Lunchtime...and I Have an Appetite for Destruction of Andy LaRoche's Face

So 6th Ward's ultimate dream of a 162-0 season for the Pittsburgh Pirates has been crushed due to a 9-3 shellacking at the hands of Albert Pujols and the St. Louis Cardinals last night. The game wasn't televised, taking a back seat to the Penguins clinching a playoff spot (more on that later.) I'm not gonna go into detail, it's the second game of the season and I'm sure many more games like this are on the horizon. I'll make two points...

#1: I have lost complete faith in Ian Snell. His promising start to his career has gone down in flames. He's been known to be a head case, and I think he's another in a long line of former Bucco pitchers who needs a change of scenery, will get it, and then blossom into a top-of-the-rotation starter.

#2: Please, please, PLEASE John Russell remove Andy LaRoche from the lineup immediately. The one time Snell actually gets Pujols to not hit a ball 450 feet off him, LaRoche drops a simple pop up, once again leading to runs for the Cards for the second consecutive game. Andy LaRoche has career minor leaguer written all over him. He's the guy who crushes Triple-A pitching year after year, but once he gets a shot in the big leagues he shits the bed. His hot spring can be attributed to the fact that most of the pitching he faced was garbage, comprised mostly of journeymen and minor leaguers who won't sniff Major League jobs.

Andy LaRoche is on a record pace...a 243-error season.

Enough about the Pirates for today, we're from the City of Champions, so let's talk about a team that has a chance to compete for a championship, the Pittsburgh Penguins. After last night's ugly 6-4 win over the Pittsburgh South Bolts, the Pens can finish no lower than 7th place in the Eastern Conference, and are likely on a collision course with Marty Brodeur and Kevin Spangler's New Jersey Devils in the first round. Last night's game was chippy, Ryan Malone will get a late start on his golf game this offseason due to a broken hand sustained last night, and AHL lifers like David Koci and Zenon Konopka (what a waste of an awesome name) were taking liberties on various Pens. An actual text sent from me to Biggamekilla last night during the goon-ruled third period...

"Dear dan bylsma... Do not take sid or geno off the bench for rest of game. Thank you. "

The last thing the Pens need is to lose a vital cog of their team with three games left in the regular season against a team filled with players you will never hear of again. I know it would have been nice to get Malkin an empty netter to pad his ever-dwindling lead in the points race, but I'd rather see him holding Lord Stanley in June instead of the Art Ross with a cast on his hand due to a slash from some scrub who will be playing in Finland next year.

So here we sit, with two games left against the Bridgeport Sound Tigers wearing Islanders uniforms and the Montreal Canadiens. I know these games are pretty meaningless, and I'd like to see a guy or two get a rest, but I'd love nothing more than having the Pens keep the Habs out of the playoffs in their centennial season and watch the suicide rate in Canada spike over the weekend.

Afternoon Eye Candy.

Let's see our PENS & BUCCOS destroy shit tonight.

Pirates Fever...Catch It!

What looked like a typical Pirates baseball game (fielding errors, baserunning gaffes, no power) suddenly turned atypical when elder statesman Jack Wilson (he's still here?) sent a bases-clearing double into the gap at Shitty Beer Stadium, leading your Pittsburgh Pirates to an opening day 6-4 win over the St. Louis Cardinals. I have to admit, I did gain a little more optimism for the upcoming season after Jumpin' Jack's heroics, but there is an interesting opening day situation going on here...

2007- Xavier Nady homers in the 9th to tie the game, and Jason Bay's two-run 10th inning shot leads the Bucs to victory.
2008- The Bucs blow a 5-run 9th inning lead, only to come back to win 12-11 in extras.
2009- Jack Wilson's 3 RBI double with 2 out in the 9th turns a two-run deficit into a 6-4 win.

So your Pirates are setting quite an interesting opening day precedent over the past few years. There are now two constants with the Bucco baseball club...the first is a guaranteed losing season. The second is an exciting opening day filled with shitty weather, shitty baseball and late game fireworks. A win is a win, and around here we'll take them however we can get them.

The Good...
-Nyjer Morgan looked like a prototypical leadoff hitter. He got on base repeatedly, ran the bases effectively and even drove in two runs. Morgan isn't known for his bat, and had a pretty poor spring, but if he can consitently get on base and set the table for the meat of the order, good things can happen.
-Paul Maholm looked like the ace of the staff everyone expected him to be. He gave up two runs that really weren't his fault (thank you Andy LaRoche, more on this scrub later) and added a hit and a key walk that led to Nyjer's big hit. Maholm needs to be the anchor of this staff if the Bucs have any hope of sniffing .500.
-Many people were upset with the failure to resign key bench players like Dougie Eyechart, but Ramon (where did my moustache go?) Vasquez and Eric Hinske both had pinch hits yesterday. The bench looks to be much improved, and we didn't even get a look at Craig Monroe, who was crushing the ball in Florida this spring.

The Bad...
-The bullpen looks to be as weak as everyone thought it would be. Tyler Yates throws hard, but sometimes when you throw hard, it gets hit even harder. John Grabow even looked a bit shaky, throwing a pickoff attempt into right field. Everyone stressed the need for good starting pitching, but when they hand the game over in the late innings, someone needs to step up and shut the door. Excluded in the bullpen criticism is Matt Capps, who calmly closed up shop in the 9th for his first save.

The Ugly...
I get the feeling that this isn't the first time this season that the word "ugly" will be used to describe Andy LaRoche's performance. A first inning strikeout with the bases loaded...two errors, with the first leading to the Cards' first runs of the game...and the ultimate slap in the face, with the game on the line in the 9th, John Russell pinch hits Hinske for LaRoche, which helped continue the Pirates' comeback. Now I know Russell probably wanted the left-handed Hinske up against the righty, but LaRoche is your #6 hitter, a slot usually reserved for one of your better run producers. Not too many #6 hitters get pinch-hit for in a key late-inning situation. It's beginning to look more and more like Andy is keeping the hot corner warm for Neil Walker, and eventually Pedro Alvarez. You know a Pirate is bad when 6th Ward cuts him from his fantasy team one game into the season, he stockpiles Buccos like it's going out of style (I think I heard him say he's putting in waiver claims for Jason Jaramillo and Luis Cruz this morning.) At least his big brother hit the ball well yesterday, which will hopefully help him avoid another terrible April.

All in all, it was another sloppy Pirates' performance we've become accustomed to over the past few years, but with a suprisingly different result. These comebacks aren't going to happen every night, but if the Bucs can shore up their fundamentals a bit and capitalize on solid starting pitching, good things might happen.

Opening Gay

It's 36 degrees, windy and snowy in Saint Louis...what better way to kick off what looks to be the 17th consecutive losing season for your Pittsburgh Pirates! Normally when a professional sports team knows going into a season it's in for a long year, the team does its best PR job to drum up interest in their respective team. After 16 years of futility at Three Rivers and PNC Park, there's absolutely nothing the Pirates' brass can do to get anyone excited about this team. Not even a "clever" marketing slogan can get you pumped for this season (think along the lines of the "Let's go to Work" and "We Will..." garbage force-fed to you during Pirate broadcasts over the years.)

Genius courtesy of Mondesishouse

While fans in Boston, New York, Los Angeles and Chicago are full of hope and optimism, looking forward to who they'd like to face in October, the few die-hards here are looking forward to good first half starts for Freddy Sanchez and Adam LaRoche, that way the Bucs can pick up more "prospects" at the deadline in July. Kill me now.

Dan Kreider Sighting...

Dan Kreider, former Steelers fullback extraordinaire, has signed with another NFL team. Three guesses as to where he went...as if you need three...

That's right, he's taken the path of many former Steelers and will be suiting up this fall for Pittsburgh West, aka the Arizona Cardinals. Kreider and all the other blocking fullbacks around the league are going the way of the dinosaur, with teams like the Steelers using more two and three-tight end sets in running situations. Best of luck to you Mr. Kreider, I know PWHallstrom will be rooting for you.

In other NFL news, Jay Cutler was traded to the Bears. He's a bitch. Chicago gave up way too much for a bitch. That's all I'll say about that situation.

Local College Hoops Team Wins National Tournament

Many people around the 'Burgh expected to see this headline in their local newspapers this week, but with a different meaning. While the Pitt Panthers cagers were at home still licking their wounds from a last-second beating from Villanova, the Penn State University hoops team was at Madison Square Garden, clinching their first championship in the not-so-storied history of men's basketball. I know, I know, it's the NIT, but still, would you rather your year end like this...

or this...

Penn State did what a lot of other teams failed to do in the past...instead of sulking over an NCAA Tournament snub, they went into the NIT and decided to go out on top. I don't want to hear about how the NIT is inferior to the NCAA's and all that jazz, they still had to beat some quality teams to win, such as George Mason (the Cinderella of the 2007 NCAA's)...at Florida (only two years removed from back-to-back National Championships)...Notre Dame (featuring one of the best players in the nation, Luke Harangody (by the way, I hate that guy, total meathead. How is he good at basketball? He shoots like a retarded kid)) and Baylor (winners of 7 of their last 8, with big wins over Kansas and Texas in the Big 12 Tournament.) It was also pretty impressive seeing 36 busloads of supporters make the trip to NYC, turning the Garden into Bryce Jordan Center East and giving Penn State a distinct home-court advantage. Even JoePa made the trip, and had some interesting things to say...

And how refreshing is it to see a college stick with a coach and let him build from the bottom up? Ed DeChellis is in his 6th season at the helm of Penn State, and while he's had his struggles, the university had patience with him, instead of canning him after a few lousy seasons. In a game where coaches have become hired mercenaries and it's more business than basketball, it's good to see a team rewarded for sticking to their guns and letting a coach build things his way and not try to find the latest quick-fix big name who would leave as soon as another better opportunity came around. This team loses some of its bigger names next year, such as tournament MVP Jamelle Cornley (this guy would be a beast if he moved to tight end) and guard Stanley Pringle. But with First Team All-Big Ten performer Talor Battle and a host of other talent returning, along with the added boost in recruiting from the NIT win, the future of Penn State hoops is looking brighter than it once did.

I know I said I wouldn't post about basketball anymore but I had to do this. I apologize to everyone and promise it won't happen again.

So What's It Gonna Be?

Predictions are in for your 2009 Pittsburgh Pirates, and things aren't looking so rosy...

Buster Olney of ESPN: 62-100, 6th Place NL Central.

Albert Chen of CNNSI: 64-98, 6th Place NL Central.

Doc Emrick is not pleased.

This seems to be the consensus among most of baseball's "experts." Your 2009 Pittsburgh Pirates are on their way to their record-setting 17th consecutive losing season, and in the process most see them being the worst team in baseball. Ouch. But who can blame them? There's not one player in the Bucs' lineup that sends fear into opposing pitchers. There's no dominant starting pitcher who can be counted on to shut down the other team. The bullpen is full of guys with upside and not much else. All these years and it's still hard to be a Pittsburgh Pirates fan. I want to be a realist when it comes to the Bucs, but every year they somehow suck me in and keep me interested, if only until the middle of June. As much as I try to be objective, there's still that tiny glimmer of hope I hold that feels the Pirates will not be a cellar dweller this season. I'm not predicting a winning season by any means, but 72-75 wins might be a possibility. In a city that's home to a football team whose season is deemed a failure if they don't win the Super Bowl, it's pretty depressing that a 75-win year by the baseball club is deemed as overachieving.