08 April, 2009

It's Lunchtime...and I Have an Appetite for Destruction of Andy LaRoche's Face

So 6th Ward's ultimate dream of a 162-0 season for the Pittsburgh Pirates has been crushed due to a 9-3 shellacking at the hands of Albert Pujols and the St. Louis Cardinals last night. The game wasn't televised, taking a back seat to the Penguins clinching a playoff spot (more on that later.) I'm not gonna go into detail, it's the second game of the season and I'm sure many more games like this are on the horizon. I'll make two points...

#1: I have lost complete faith in Ian Snell. His promising start to his career has gone down in flames. He's been known to be a head case, and I think he's another in a long line of former Bucco pitchers who needs a change of scenery, will get it, and then blossom into a top-of-the-rotation starter.

#2: Please, please, PLEASE John Russell remove Andy LaRoche from the lineup immediately. The one time Snell actually gets Pujols to not hit a ball 450 feet off him, LaRoche drops a simple pop up, once again leading to runs for the Cards for the second consecutive game. Andy LaRoche has career minor leaguer written all over him. He's the guy who crushes Triple-A pitching year after year, but once he gets a shot in the big leagues he shits the bed. His hot spring can be attributed to the fact that most of the pitching he faced was garbage, comprised mostly of journeymen and minor leaguers who won't sniff Major League jobs.

Andy LaRoche is on a record pace...a 243-error season.

Enough about the Pirates for today, we're from the City of Champions, so let's talk about a team that has a chance to compete for a championship, the Pittsburgh Penguins. After last night's ugly 6-4 win over the Pittsburgh South Bolts, the Pens can finish no lower than 7th place in the Eastern Conference, and are likely on a collision course with Marty Brodeur and Kevin Spangler's New Jersey Devils in the first round. Last night's game was chippy, Ryan Malone will get a late start on his golf game this offseason due to a broken hand sustained last night, and AHL lifers like David Koci and Zenon Konopka (what a waste of an awesome name) were taking liberties on various Pens. An actual text sent from me to Biggamekilla last night during the goon-ruled third period...

"Dear dan bylsma... Do not take sid or geno off the bench for rest of game. Thank you. "

The last thing the Pens need is to lose a vital cog of their team with three games left in the regular season against a team filled with players you will never hear of again. I know it would have been nice to get Malkin an empty netter to pad his ever-dwindling lead in the points race, but I'd rather see him holding Lord Stanley in June instead of the Art Ross with a cast on his hand due to a slash from some scrub who will be playing in Finland next year.

So here we sit, with two games left against the Bridgeport Sound Tigers wearing Islanders uniforms and the Montreal Canadiens. I know these games are pretty meaningless, and I'd like to see a guy or two get a rest, but I'd love nothing more than having the Pens keep the Habs out of the playoffs in their centennial season and watch the suicide rate in Canada spike over the weekend.

2 comments:

  1. another quick point i forgot to add about the bucs...

    still tied for first place.

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  2. I couldn't believe my eyes when I looked up and it was a one goal game! With a three goal lead they are the worst team in the NHL. When they are up by two, they should not even try to score.

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