During last night's Pens-Lightning game, I received an interesting text message from Biggamekilla. He was discussing various hockey team mascots and wanted to know what exactly a Flyer was. Most team mascots are self-explanatory...a Penguin is a flightless bird, a Bruin is a baby bear, a Predator is a kid toucher, etc. I consider myself a sports trivia nut, but I had to admit I was stumped. My answer..."A goon-laden hockey team who hasn't won a Stanley Cup since 1975."
That's what I think of when I think of a Flyer. After some research, BGK found out that when it came time to naming the expansion Philadelphia hockey team in 1967, the winning entry was cast by a 9-year old kid who submitted the name "Fliers." How appropriate, someone from Philadelphia doesn't know how to spell. The team execs made the necessary grammatical changes and the Philadelphia Pumpkins on Ice were born.
Also serves as excellent hunting gear. Although if I saw someone wearing this I'd probably try to shoot at them.So I pose this question to the loyal BOLB readers...what do you think a Flyer really is?
The Flyer was actually a Mythological beast from ancient Greece. It was an equal parts cross between a monarch butterfly, an aardvark, a three toed sloth, and a dung beetle.
ReplyDeleteWhen a human man would commit hubris, the Gods would send the Flyer to do their dirty work. The Flyer would go to said Greek's dwelling at night and wait for him to turn in for the night before springing in to action. The man's toga would be ripped off, and sodemy would be the doom of the hubristic human. The after effects of the attack would prove to be life altering for this man, as he would never succeed at anything ever again. Also his lust for women would be replaced by a craving for young boys and manass!
Mankind did ultimately have a savior from the dastardly Flyer. The Protector Sidmalkenstall was created by Zeus himself from his own smegma to do battle against the Flyer. The fight was ferocious as Sidmalkenstall put an end to the fears of all Greek men. After the triumphant victory, Sidmalkenstall banished the Flyer to a land far far away to the west. In an area of the world that would not be discovered until hundreds of years later. The Flyer's punishment was to be the being to watch over an area of land which would later become Philadelphia. The Gods placed a spell on this land so that homosexuals would flock there and any competitive sports team would be miserably bad always and only be able to have one championship every thirty years.
What was to happen to Sidmalkenstall you ask? He was rewarded by being the protector of the land that would later become Pittsburgh. This land was destined to be the city of champions! Any one residing in this city would simply be better than anyone else, period.
I hope this answers any questions as to the origin of the Flyer.
"a Predator is a kid toucher, etc. I consider myself a Predator" a quote by elite_tom, Honestly I am not surprised.
ReplyDelete"the winning entry was cast by a 9-year old kid who submitted the name "Fliers." How appropriate, someone from Philadelphia doesn't know how to spell."
I'd like to submit a racist joke please.
Do not look too far into this, for the answer is simple. A Flyer is simply a flier - a small piece of paper advertising something. They were handed out and hung up all over the city of Philadelphia before the no name team played their first game. The results were so bad that everyone used the fliers to slit their wrists (and cut themselves in other various places). After the game no one could remember anything about what happened on the ice, they just winced in pain and said, "the fliers".
ReplyDeleteChange the I to a Y and bam, there is your story.