I Wish That I Had Minky's Girl

Before I get into this story... YES - It is a Friday night and my lame ass did not do anything cool, but in my defense, I feel like dickhole.

Anyway...

While watching 'Don't Forget That Lyric' (which by the way, this dumb bitch blew it tonight on shit that I knew at age 9 - I would walk away from that show with a cool million) Rick Springfield came out to play for this idoit girl, and I noticed... he looks an awful lot like our main man Doug Mientkiewicz. Check it out for yourself...

Now onto the real million dollar question - who got/gets more pussy? RICK OR DOUG?

Eye Chart

I don't mean to steal Biggamekilla's thunder, but the 2009 Pittsburgh Pirates have more pressing needs than signing a HOF-caliber left fielder. Like, say, signing a veteran left-handed utility guy. That's right, why haven't the Pirates thrown Doug Mientkiewicz (you wanna know how I'm a true baseball fan? I spelled that without even looking it up) a contract offer yet? This guy was the sole reason (other than the most productive outfield in baseball, until July that is) to watch the Bucs last season. All heart, all fire, nothing but 120% on the field. When you're used to seeing guys like Operation Shutdown crush the Pirates' few hopes every season, Malphabet was a breath of fresh air. Obviously Doug isn't in high demand this offseason, he wasn't in high demand the past few seasons, how do you explain him playing in the 'burgh and KC, where careers go to die? So Neal Huntington, do the right thing.

For kids' sake.