The New Kovy

Much has been made of the Pittsburgh Penguins' struggles this season, just a few months removed from the Stanley Cup finals. When you lose a decent chunk of your team due to defections and injury it's bound to happen, especially with the parity in today's NHL (are you taking notes, MLB?) One of the main "solutions" many fans offer is the firing of head coach Michel Therrien. While I admit I've screamed for his head many times this season, watching his incessant tampering of lines while keeping that patented deer-in-headlights stare intact, firing him at this junction would probably be more detrimental than anything. Plus, it's fun to listen to his press conferences and how it's physically impossible to say the letter "s" at the end of pluralized words.

"Player need to put puck in net."

So what's the solution then? The other main "need" everyone seems to be clamoring for is the addition of an elite winger. After removing the knife from his back planted by one Marion Hossa, GM Ray Shero combed the trash heap otherwise known as the New York Islanders and signed Ruslan Fedotenko and Miroslav Satan. While Fedotenko has never been anything close to "elite" unless you count the 2004 Stanley Cup finals, he's serviceable as a second or third line option. When Satan was signed, many expected the Miroslav that used to torture the Pens while he was in Buffalo at the beginning of this decade.

Killer.

Satan can't be counted on to produce on an everyday basis. He's a role player at best, another Petr Sykora, but not as much. He still has the capability to get hot at any moment, but he seems to lack the spark and motivation that this team needs. You can't fault Ray Shero, there wasn't much out there on the free agent market better than Satan (the Pensblog just did an excellent piece backing this up.)

So what can the Pens do? There are trade options out there, and one of the names that was thrown around was Marion Gaborik of the Minnesota Wild. Gaborik is a speedster, a scoring machine stuck in the overly boring trapping machine in Minnesota. Gaborik is also softer than Charmin tissue, he's hurt more than Little Ben, and that's saying a lot. He's most likely out for the season, and is also a UFA this summer, which will make it interesting for the Wild. Even if the Pens did swing a trade for him, he's pretty much worthless to them at this point.

An endorsement deal that makes so much sense.

Another name that has been thrown around is Thrashers superstar Ilya Kovalchuk. Not to be confused with former Pens' star Alex Kovalev, "Kovy" has matured into a leader and stuck in the hockey hellhole that is Atlanta. He's signed through next year, so Atlanta is in no rush to dump him like they did with Mr. Hossa last year. He's had some past issues with the Pens, and he hasn't been a popular figure in these parts.

"Here's lookin' at you Kid."

But burnt bridges can be rebuilt. Just ask Evgeni Malkin. I thought that he and Alex Ovechkin were sworn enemies, hell bent on destroying the other one's face any time they encountered each other. But thanks to the work of one Ilya Kovalchuk, Malkin and AO seem to be best buddies once again during the All-Star festivities.

From Russia, with love.

And I also saw somewhere that Kovy was genuinely excited to be seated next to Malkin during the interview sessions. So do us all a favor Don Waddell...save "the new Kovy" from his neverending hockey nightmare, and the Pens will be sure to send a package of role players back your way (sorry Colby, we still love you.)